How pathetic was I last night

Apologizes for that one.

I got a job and at this point, that’s all that matters.

I got my first check today for one week of service.

I worked for a paycheck.

After six months of unemployment it almost felt like sex.

almost...fuck.

Always the bride maid…never the bride.

The Media Director came into my office today and said…

“I have some bad news.”

I thought he was kidding at first because he does have that sense of humor.

“Ok…what is it?”

“It seems that we hired someone that we didn’t plan on hiring. He is a high level executive and I’m sorry to tell you but this is the last office we have and he has to be placed here so we have to place you in a cube.”

“Okay…not a problem.”

“This was not planned India. I had no idea this was going to happen. I’ll make it up to you.”

Well…first off, you’re not my type and fucking save the shit for the clients.

Fuck…I’ve been there for 4 days and I’m already being booted from the first office I’ve ever had.

Next week I’ll be in the basement working on a typewriter sitting on a cardboard box…with my red stapler.

I was in awe and felt like I was actually hired for a job I can do and fix all the cracks in their system.

They hired me as a manager and moved me into an office.

All the employees that saw me sitting in that office the first day will now see me as being moved to a cube.

In four days I was demoted.

The feeling is quite familiar.

And you know what…

I’m fucking sick of it.

The office doesn’t mean shit but my pride does.

That’s kinda what I felt like today

If you haven’t seen the movie then you will have no idea what I’m talking about.

When he pointed the way to an office I went in and started to sit in the visitor’s chair.

The Media Director flipped on the light and said “No. This is your new home.”

I was amazed.

An office? Me?

This has to be a joke.

Nope.

Then they threw me into the water half knowing what I was doing and the other half not so much.

I think I half swam and half sank.

But hell…it was only the first day.

THISISHOWMYCARWASHWENT

I’ve been raised to believe that oil, dirt and grime keeps a car together.

If the monster needs to be scrubbed down…well, I don’t do it because something might fall off.

This kept going through my mind as I was pacing back and forth, biting my thumbnail watching my car coming out of the water cave. Then someone used vacuums and some form of air blow thing.

I had to look away…I could hear the lug nuts falling from the tires but I couldn’t bear to see it.

So I looked up to avoid seeing the blood…hence the picture.

I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad

I will never see this view again…unless I chose to. It gave me grief and it also got me my new job.

Things just fall into place sometimes.

Who fucking knows and guessing is pointless.

It’s 3:30am here and no one is up to talk to and I’m so fucking excited I just can’t stand it.

I fucking did it.

I was two months away from folding my cards and moving back to Texas.

To me that is failure. Tail between my legs, head bowed…broken.

For some reason I had to prove…something.

I still have no idea what that is but I think I’m getting closer to finding out.

hmmmm…

Who got a job today?

Let me think…

Maybe me?

Reliance 606

That’s a fucking Ferrari in my world.

Hot water…what a concept.

R.I.P.

Took a cold shower tonight.

My landlord told me that I will have a new water heater tomorrow.

Doubtful.

But I always hope for the best…and expect the worst.

She’s quite amazing

One of the few occasions that she didn’t hear the camera coming.

She was however, quite pissed after the flash went off.

Everyone that knows me knows that she is disabled. Which gives her a different out look on life.

She is my Napoleon. Defeat before being defeated.

I’d love to have some of her doggie mentality.

But…instead, I’m with Sasha. Chase my tail until I catch it…then start over.

Jesusfuckingchrist…I really need to get a job soon.

I am starting to go fucking crazy.

At this point…it’s not a long trip.

Second interview…

When I walked into the reception area yesterday I heard some one yell “Shit!” then a second voice chimed in “Fuck.”

Heh…feels like home to me.

I have no fucking idea how I did in the interview. I do know I’m in the final three.

Only time and references will tell.

Angelic isn’t it?

I thought so…still had the original tags on it. One fucking expensive shirt. I got it for a buck.

It’s also a torch for a smoker.

I also bought a pair of interview pants for a buck, original tags on them as well.

Did someone say interview?

Tomorrow…second one.

Have a shirt that is the classic button up with hints of green and gold striped.

Now what shoes would go with that?

Lucky me…

I always wondered where those sweet green shoes, leather…like butter, would come into play.

Now.

What is the saying?

“Don’t dress for the job you have…dress for the job you want.”

What I learned yesterday…

I melt tragically in the heat
I’m horrible with directions
I can fail a job interview but I know I can do the job
A worst enemy can be your truest friend
I can’t spell worth shit
I have become deaf to the loudest noises but can hear the slightest whisper
I tell people what to do but I don’t do it
People walk away when you are in need
People are relentless when they are in need
I listen to all the advice people give me but don't get it
I can move back to Texas but it’s just another shit ass move
I love “The Wizard of Oz”
I wish I was a girly girl
I’m not the brightest crayon in the box but I can color over anything

This is the only picture that I can take to describe hot.

It hit 88 degrees at midnight.

M told me that when she was in her car today the temp read 111.

Now what kind of fucked up shit is that?

I have only myself to blame. Actually, I have my father to blame. The weather says Felix is a 5…all along I only thought I was a 2.

Oh yeah…and there was an earthquake here today. I don’t know how bad it was because I was napping…huddled underneath my tiny air conditioner with ice packs on the living room floor.

I should have realized when Rip, in all her half breed chowness, was pawing me and panting in my face.

Does anyone know how a half ass air conditioner, a 70lb furry dog terrified of earthquackes, panting in your face in 111 degree weather feels like?

Actually it wasn’t that bad.

But I didn’t think I’d burn in hell this soon.