I don't think people understand...

The mass of what I went through, even I don't understand.

Only a few people know what it's like to live with the devil and very few know how hard it is to get away.

The mind fuck is special. You don't know they are doing it to you. "You are so fucking dead!" should have been my ring tone.

I wish he would have killed me. Six feet under would have been less painful than the nightmares I still have.

"Watch you back, I just bought a knife." Shit.

I could not get away. He would find me. follow me and taunt me. I started looking in to moving to Alaska because I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder. Yeah, it went that far.

The point of this post is I don't understand why people say shitty things to me and they expect me to be nice.

Let's go over the last two day.

Last night my roommate told me I was anti-social and that I never talk to him any more. Low blow and uncalled for. "Huh? Excuse me? You are playing a video game twelve hours a day." (Yes he playing it as I'm typing). I'm anti-social? Hey, but he talks to people in Australia on the game and that makes him social.

My friend T. We got into a stupid drunk phone fight. Hang up's are always in the mix. I called her the next day to apologize for, I don't know. I left her a message. I also sent a text. No response.

I got a text message tonight...two months later. She sent me the same text three times. Grow some balls and call me.

I speak my mind now, something I couldn't do before and some times I am harsh.

As I've said I have been through the shit hole but I respect people and I expect the same in return.

I guess I live in LaLa land.