Sometimes feel I feel as if I’m some people’s personal punching bag

I’m not quite sure why.

I’ve tried to figure it out and maybe it’s something in my personality. I can be annoying just like everyone else but some of the shit people say to me they wouldn’t dare say to others around me.

Do I bring out the worst in people?

Do they feel as if I’m so weak that I won’t fight back?

Or am I just too sensitive for my own good.

I know sometimes I take things way to literally but what was said to me last night could not be mistaken as anything but cruel…and it came from someone I care about.

He has apologized several times but some times that just doesn’t cut it.

I’m very on guard now when I’m seeing someone. I’m always waiting for that sign that I may be in a bad situation. This isn’t the first time this has happened nor did I think it would be the last and unfortunately I was correct.

Things have been a little difficult for us in more ways than one so I’m starting to wonder if we’d be better off as just friends. That’s almost what it seems like any way. I know he’s going through a rough time right now but I’m so tired of people taking their frustrations out on me. I try so hard not to do that to others.

The one thing that people don’t understand about me is when shit like that happens I go right back to rock bottom. I start hearing Vance’s voice in my head.

“You’re nothing but a stupid fucking whore.”

It’s gotten better but I don’t think it will ever go away. Some times words just stick…I just wish they were good ones instead of those.