I had to read this ad five times…
Then it dawned on me…they are serious.
This is the preferred requirements for “Charter Communications” Client Services Coordinator.
PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS_A. Skills/Abilities and Knowledge_Ability to reach with hands and arms, to bend, to talk and hear, and to read and use a computer_Ability to read, write and speak the English language to communicate with employees, customers, suppliers, in person, on the phone, and by written communications in a clear, straight-forward, and professional and pleasant manner_Ability to use personal computer and software applications (i.e. word processing, spreadsheet, etc.)_Ability to use, handle, and manipulate objects such as paper, pencils, keyboards, and mouse_Ability to work independently _Knowledge and ability to use the following office equipment: computer, telephone, copier, fax, calculator, and stapler _Knowledge of cable television products and services_Vision ability: close vision, peripheral vision, and ability to adjust focus.
Well obviously I’m not qualified.
I got a D- in paper and pencils and I failed stapling.
I am currently going to summer school for both.
Maybe someday…I can only dream…I will meet Charter’s Preferred Qualifications.
The person that wrote this ad has a job and I don’t?
Man…I'm fucked.
This is the preferred requirements for “Charter Communications” Client Services Coordinator.
PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS_A. Skills/Abilities and Knowledge_Ability to reach with hands and arms, to bend, to talk and hear, and to read and use a computer_Ability to read, write and speak the English language to communicate with employees, customers, suppliers, in person, on the phone, and by written communications in a clear, straight-forward, and professional and pleasant manner_Ability to use personal computer and software applications (i.e. word processing, spreadsheet, etc.)_Ability to use, handle, and manipulate objects such as paper, pencils, keyboards, and mouse_Ability to work independently _Knowledge and ability to use the following office equipment: computer, telephone, copier, fax, calculator, and stapler _Knowledge of cable television products and services_Vision ability: close vision, peripheral vision, and ability to adjust focus.
Well obviously I’m not qualified.
I got a D- in paper and pencils and I failed stapling.
I am currently going to summer school for both.
Maybe someday…I can only dream…I will meet Charter’s Preferred Qualifications.
The person that wrote this ad has a job and I don’t?
Man…I'm fucked.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 1:59 AM
7 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
Why is so difficult for a corporation, no matter the size, to find at least one employee who is able to not only write a complete, comprehensible sentence but is also able to utilize the correct grammatical rules that apply to their written words?
I started a new part-time, temporary job this week. While I was standing outside of the boss' office, waiting to be introduced to him, I read a memo that he had taped to his office door. I had to read the thing 5 times to completely understand what the message was that he trying to get across.- Mind you I am a high school English teacher, I read a ton of crappy sentences written by 11th graders every day so my brain has become fine tuned to deciphering ill-constructed sentences. Anyway, the last two sentences of the memo were: "So very important to remember. If receipts on my desk with no name, how can I know who's it be from and then I can't and don't care if you don't get your money."
I took out a pen and started to make corrections to the memo, but my buddy, who hooked me up with the job, insisted that I stop being suck a jackass.
That adjusting focus thing can be tough.
I mean, except when you're sober. But who's ever sober at work? I mean, come on! So yeah, I can see why they had to include that.
Shoot, I forgot to say happy birthday.
Beerspitnight...I don't think you were being a jackass. You did however, give me a headache. I had to read it several timeas as well and that was the boss. Geeze. Like I said...I screwed!
Grumble...thanks for the birthday wish! It did take me a few seconds to adjust my vision but that's only because I'm drinking. heh.
Not only is life not fair, sometimes it is downright fucked up.
I went to a job fair recently and after completing this company's 20 page application, I went to turn the paperwork in & asked the representative about the next step in the process. This is what she said ...
'Yooz gotz to pass you a drug test, & fizskull exam & da reatin' rightin' test. Den weez also needz da backgroun check'
I thought..."ok & I should pass these on to ... you and uh, whoever hired you?"
skinny...
that actually made my left eyeball hurt. WHAT????
Doonz dooze tattie agggaiiinnie!
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