I want to make something very clear here…

I do not write the things that I do about Vance to play the poor victim. I write the things I do to get my fucking thoughts out. That is why I started this fucking blog…to save my fucking sanity.

Last night I just happened to see a show that triggered a memory and I had to get it out.

I also had a bad weekend due to something that I had to do that made me feel like shit about myself and I don’t feel like talking about it here because it just makes me feel like more of a loser.

I try and walk through this life with a smile on my face and try and put on a normal facade. It works most of the time but inside I want to claw my fucking face off.

I don’t expect comments when I post things like I posted last night, as a matter of fact I prefer that people not comment because there is nothing to comment on. I don’t post these things for people to feel sorry for me. What I’m hoping to do when I write that crap is to figure out what the FUCK I was thinking. Why the FUCK did I do what I did. Why the FUCK do I continue to FUCK my life up.

No. One. Can. Answer. This. But. Me.

So if you see anything that has the words Vance or DD and don't want to read it feel free to move on. It doesn't matter to me.

As I’ve said before I try my best not to talk about him anymore but sometimes it comes out anyway.

Hopefully tonight I’ll write something all warm and fuzzy…doubtful but it could happen.