I'm starting to remember things I don't want to...

And it's not good.

I've trained my brain to not remember. Yeah...I am that smart. It's called survivor mode.

Guess what? I didn't train my brain that well.

The memories are coming back.

I don't want them to.

It brings up the RAGE in me but I can't stop 14 years of memories. I'm not that good.

But I am not going to be him. I'm better than that. He wanted me to be evil.

Guess what? He lost.

I like shiny things. A pretty penny is good for me. It makes me happy.

That fucking asshole...nothing made him happy. Not even a blowjob but he wrote on ever card he bought me. His famous line was "I bought you this card now do I get a blowjob?

Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Happy Valentines Day...it was on every fucking card.

And I stayed with him because I wanted the man that I fell in love with to come back.

It doesn't happen. He almost killed me.

ALMOST.