Dear Old Dad….

I talked to my sister tonight. We had a long talk about my father…our…ummm…dad. It’s strange that she has such different thoughts than I do on the subject of not having a father.

A little background might be good huh? My father left my mom, brother, sister and me when I was yet to be born. I would like to say he was a good man…but from the last sentence, I guess you have already assumed that he is not….and you would be right. He is a very self centered, this is me being nice…He’s actually a self centered, asshole, prick that got married 7 times and had 10 children (that he knows about)….feel a little better now…thanks….Ok history lesson over.

My sister said that she was always mad, that any girl that she went to school with or any girl to this day could call up “dear old daddy” and make any hardship she had better. She said that we always had to do it ourselves. She thinks, as I do, that my Mom was the best thing that happened to us and that we wouldn’t be who we are if it wasn’t for her. I agree with her.

I was the one that thought that my dad would come around. Now that’s a fucking funny joke. Up until the time I was 20 I hated his guts. I had contact with him through out the years. I finally gave up and decided it was not longer worth my time. Then one day out of the blue he called me. The same old shit. Dear old Dad loves me and is sorry for what he did. BULLSHIT. I did believe him for about 2 years. Then all contact stopped. He stopped calling me. I would call because I wanted to have a “dad”. He would give me a little contact, when he wanted to every now and then, just like in my childhood. Then…It just stopped again…just like it did when he left my mom.

It’s been 2 years. I haven’t spoken to him. I do realize, in this life I will never know what it’s like to have a father. I don’t know the word “Dad”. Not in the terms most kids use it.

I guess I just have to cut it down. I have a father….he lives some where in Oklahoma and he has a family……

BUT

THANKS DAD, we have a better one!