It’s really strange…
How you can be with someone for years and you see them again and nothing from the first time you met exists.
He showed up again, unannounced as usual but my front door was open and he knew I was here.
I know what he’s done to me. Maybe it’s fear that I don’t turn him away or maybe it’s faith. I wish that the words that come out of his mouth were truth but they seldom are.
I can only hope that what he says he wants to do, he will follow through on, but I’ve heard all the speeches before. Just like the one I heard tonight.
“I’m sorry, for everything I’ve done. I know I fucked up. I’m trying to get my shit together and I’m back in AA. I’m only fucking up every two or three weeks now…it’s not like it use to be.”
Oh how many times have I’ve heard this…it’s become boring…he seemed good, but…it’s him, nothing is ever good and of course I was right…I lived with the asshole for years.
He changed…in a matter of 5 minutes. I can always see it in his face, it turns to stone. He tries to suppress offending me (which I can say is REALLY hard to do) but it can only last so long. He started…calling people on TV faggots and gay and starting in on calling me and my friend flaky.
I told him once. “DD stop, I don’t want to hear it.” He stopped and then started again…”But you and your friends, it’s just so stupid…” He was going to say something else but I cut him off. “For the second time, stop it. I don’t want to get into this.” He said ok, with that fucking smirk on his face, that said, in his mind he was right. That’s fucking fine with me. Just get the fuck out of my house.
I have no tolerance left for him. Why he thinks that he can come here and be a dick, I do not understand, but there are people in this world that think they can. That’s cool…just stay the fuck away from me.
He use to always say…”You fucking cunt, I’m not the looser…you are.”
Well…times are a changing.
Fuck you DD.
He showed up again, unannounced as usual but my front door was open and he knew I was here.
I know what he’s done to me. Maybe it’s fear that I don’t turn him away or maybe it’s faith. I wish that the words that come out of his mouth were truth but they seldom are.
I can only hope that what he says he wants to do, he will follow through on, but I’ve heard all the speeches before. Just like the one I heard tonight.
“I’m sorry, for everything I’ve done. I know I fucked up. I’m trying to get my shit together and I’m back in AA. I’m only fucking up every two or three weeks now…it’s not like it use to be.”
Oh how many times have I’ve heard this…it’s become boring…he seemed good, but…it’s him, nothing is ever good and of course I was right…I lived with the asshole for years.
He changed…in a matter of 5 minutes. I can always see it in his face, it turns to stone. He tries to suppress offending me (which I can say is REALLY hard to do) but it can only last so long. He started…calling people on TV faggots and gay and starting in on calling me and my friend flaky.
I told him once. “DD stop, I don’t want to hear it.” He stopped and then started again…”But you and your friends, it’s just so stupid…” He was going to say something else but I cut him off. “For the second time, stop it. I don’t want to get into this.” He said ok, with that fucking smirk on his face, that said, in his mind he was right. That’s fucking fine with me. Just get the fuck out of my house.
I have no tolerance left for him. Why he thinks that he can come here and be a dick, I do not understand, but there are people in this world that think they can. That’s cool…just stay the fuck away from me.
He use to always say…”You fucking cunt, I’m not the looser…you are.”
Well…times are a changing.
Fuck you DD.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 4:55 AM
2 Comments:
Good for you.
I've been reading your musings for a while now and as I read this and the way you ended with "times are a changing" I was reminded of this,
It was gravity which pulled us down and destiny which broke us apart.
You tamed the lion in my cage but it just wasn't enough to change my heart.
Now everything's a little upside down, as a matter of fact the wheels have stopped.
I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free.
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love...
It seems as though you have gained strenth.
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