Today was painful…
I think that after this weekend it made for a bad Monday. This weekend was definitely an emotional roller coaster. It’s just a cold reality that after my relationship with DD I basically have no friends. I lost some of them due to him and now have only a few that stuck threw it with me. Basically I have three friends. I know it’s not quantity that counts its quality right?
I’ve never had a lot of friends….that’s tuff to admit but it’s the truth. For the most part of my early life my sister was my best friend but when boys started coming into the picture things changed. Nothing bad in that we all know once you start dating someone friends tend to step to the sideline or you put them there. I do have to say she was pretty great about it. She would let me hang out with her and her boyfriends. Not a lot of people can say that about their siblings.
As you can guess I wasn’t very popular in school. Overweight, frizzy haired girl that was pretty much a geek. I mean come on….how many people do you know that went to the Sr. Prom with a guy that was gay (not know to anyone at the time). I was crushed when he wouldn’t even kiss me that night. I guess I was the safest bet for him at the time. We dated for two months and right after the prom he broke up with me. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have minded going the prom with someone that was gay, I just wish I would have known that he was, espically after dating hime for two months. He saw my best friend a few years later at a bar and he told her that he always knew he was gay and that he did truly like me and was sorry he hurt me. He never intended to. Sorry got side tracked on that story....back to the point.
When I was in the club scene in the 80’s I had a lot of acquaintances but not true friends, just a couple of girls that I hung out with and eventually moved here with one of them. We still talk every now and then but we don’t really hang out anymore.
Along came S and we dated for 3 years. After we split I was in the same boat I am now. I had a good friend for a year or so that I use to work with but she eventually ended up moving back home to Detroit. She was the one that introduced me to DD. Minn and I started working to together after the other girl moved home and that was about it. Oh and T she worked there too. We hung out a lot together….drinks after work. Minn of course moved home and T lives about an hour away from me. There’s also M who bought me the tickets to the concert but her life is pretty hectic so I don’t see her much.
So that makes three. Like I said, I know it’s not the quantity but the quality.
I just felt pathetic that I couldn’t find anyone to go with me on Saturday night and it was no one’s fault but my own.
So, I sat here yesterday and drowned my sorrows. It didn’t help much just made me a little brighter for a few hours and made today horrible. Just made me feel worse about the situation that I’ve put myself in.
I’ve never had a lot of friends….that’s tuff to admit but it’s the truth. For the most part of my early life my sister was my best friend but when boys started coming into the picture things changed. Nothing bad in that we all know once you start dating someone friends tend to step to the sideline or you put them there. I do have to say she was pretty great about it. She would let me hang out with her and her boyfriends. Not a lot of people can say that about their siblings.
As you can guess I wasn’t very popular in school. Overweight, frizzy haired girl that was pretty much a geek. I mean come on….how many people do you know that went to the Sr. Prom with a guy that was gay (not know to anyone at the time). I was crushed when he wouldn’t even kiss me that night. I guess I was the safest bet for him at the time. We dated for two months and right after the prom he broke up with me. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have minded going the prom with someone that was gay, I just wish I would have known that he was, espically after dating hime for two months. He saw my best friend a few years later at a bar and he told her that he always knew he was gay and that he did truly like me and was sorry he hurt me. He never intended to. Sorry got side tracked on that story....back to the point.
When I was in the club scene in the 80’s I had a lot of acquaintances but not true friends, just a couple of girls that I hung out with and eventually moved here with one of them. We still talk every now and then but we don’t really hang out anymore.
Along came S and we dated for 3 years. After we split I was in the same boat I am now. I had a good friend for a year or so that I use to work with but she eventually ended up moving back home to Detroit. She was the one that introduced me to DD. Minn and I started working to together after the other girl moved home and that was about it. Oh and T she worked there too. We hung out a lot together….drinks after work. Minn of course moved home and T lives about an hour away from me. There’s also M who bought me the tickets to the concert but her life is pretty hectic so I don’t see her much.
So that makes three. Like I said, I know it’s not the quantity but the quality.
I just felt pathetic that I couldn’t find anyone to go with me on Saturday night and it was no one’s fault but my own.
So, I sat here yesterday and drowned my sorrows. It didn’t help much just made me a little brighter for a few hours and made today horrible. Just made me feel worse about the situation that I’ve put myself in.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 9:02 PM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
let's try again..
i love you and i'm truly sorry about the concert. you know i'd have gone if i could have!! in a heartbeat. but, when you come home we'll go see someone.. it might be winger, but damnit someone. :) hahahha winger.
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