I had fun...and my friend’s dog ate my sandwich…heh.

Yeah today has been a fucking trip. I forgot what it was like to just hang out with a girlfriend, just two people talking with no bullshit. Chatting like girls will chat. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve sat down and talked to a girlfriend in person? Hmmmm…let’s think…Christmas Eve was the last time with T

It was so much fun…happiness in disaster.

We all live through our shit. I got into a fight with my mom tonight over what has happened today. My mother is opinionated, to say the fucking least. Don’t get me wrong. I love my Ma but…we are so similar that we fight constantly. But we can still talk.

We got into a fight tonight about crazy. Yea, see if you haven’t lived with crazy, then don’t give me advice…because your advice means shit to me. If you’ve lived through it, I will listen to every word, if not, shut the fuck up.

You see, my family has no idea. They don’t understand and they never will…that’s cool.

I have a need to tell this story…I guess it’s just what I do here. It’s mine so I can say whatever the fuck I want to right?

We got into a fight one night. This was in the early years. He wasn’t hitting me yet but it should have clued me in, that he would grab my hand and bite it. Duh? It’s funny how it builds up. From my hand to my arm…then…this is the painful part…my cheek. I had a perfect bruise of his teeth on my cheek. Yeah, that was pretty hard to hide.

I remembered that story yesterday or the day before, I can’t remember. Ahh…the love you feel for someone. I knew he had problems and I was willing to live and try with him. Heh…I wanted to try but he didn’t.

It’s funny, he still calls and that was a hellofalongtimeago…but I still think that I can make him better. I just can’t. Survival of the fittest is my motto now. I no longer want to sacrifice myself for him.

I’m also glad, that maybe my friend has chosen that option as well.

If you live with crazy too long you become crazy. I’m not talking about someone having a shit fit…I’m talking full on crazy. I’ve been with it and it was almost the end of me. My friend…shit…I’ve never heard her laugh as much as she has in the last week. It’s beautiful.

No one, but a select few, understand what its like to love someone so much that you would sacrifice your soul…or your mind, in the name of crazy. It’s a big swirling pool that just sucks you in…..for years.

But for the sane, something snaps. We have to get out while the getting is good. We know we are going to lose our minds if it continues.

Just in the nick of time….