Tomorrow….have to go to a specialist….
I said I wouldn’t bitch about this anymore, but I don’t consider this bitching…it’s more fear than anything else. I went to my dr. about my shoulder and he referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.
When I was young one of my Aunts died of cancer. I was pretty young and knew the word cancer but wasn’t explained the whole story. I do know that it started in her arm in some form. I know I’m being silly…my mind tends to go to dark places when something is wrong with me that I don’t understand.
Also, my dr. pretty much guaranteed that I would probably have to have an MRI. Small confined spaces are not so good for me. I get weird when I’m in a crowded elevator…much less a tube. My brother said he freaked out when he had one and he’s the strongest person I know.
Granted at this point I’ll probably do anything to regain full use of my right arm and stop the pain but I’m still a little freaked out.
I just don’t know how I could have fucked my shoulder up this badly. The only thing that I can think is I was so use to being fat and had that girth, it was easy to carry heavy object because I could always rest it on some form of fat hanging some where on my body. I no longer have that option but still think I can do it. Plus the retarded mind frame that I can do anything by myself….I don’t need any help. I have to realize that I can’t move something that’s double my body weight…well…I can try…and maybe I can….but I think that’s what got me into this fix in the first place.
Ok…bitch…bitch…moan…moan…moan…..I use to be famous for it now it makes me queasy when I do it.
Subject switch….
I watching TV and the girl was trying on cowboy boots…ahhhh…makes me miss home and the fact that I can’t wait till it gets cold again so I can proceed in wearing mine.
You can take the girl out of Texas but you can’t take my fucking cowboy boots out of my wardrobe….
When I was young one of my Aunts died of cancer. I was pretty young and knew the word cancer but wasn’t explained the whole story. I do know that it started in her arm in some form. I know I’m being silly…my mind tends to go to dark places when something is wrong with me that I don’t understand.
Also, my dr. pretty much guaranteed that I would probably have to have an MRI. Small confined spaces are not so good for me. I get weird when I’m in a crowded elevator…much less a tube. My brother said he freaked out when he had one and he’s the strongest person I know.
Granted at this point I’ll probably do anything to regain full use of my right arm and stop the pain but I’m still a little freaked out.
I just don’t know how I could have fucked my shoulder up this badly. The only thing that I can think is I was so use to being fat and had that girth, it was easy to carry heavy object because I could always rest it on some form of fat hanging some where on my body. I no longer have that option but still think I can do it. Plus the retarded mind frame that I can do anything by myself….I don’t need any help. I have to realize that I can’t move something that’s double my body weight…well…I can try…and maybe I can….but I think that’s what got me into this fix in the first place.
Ok…bitch…bitch…moan…moan…moan…..I use to be famous for it now it makes me queasy when I do it.
Subject switch….
I watching TV and the girl was trying on cowboy boots…ahhhh…makes me miss home and the fact that I can’t wait till it gets cold again so I can proceed in wearing mine.
You can take the girl out of Texas but you can’t take my fucking cowboy boots out of my wardrobe….
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 9:50 PM
3 Comments:
yo, tell him you want to be referred to an "open MRI" when it comes time...if he tells you he can't, call BS and don't settle.
you'll be fine!!! see there's an open mri. or take some valium. :)
thanks otis...looks like that is what i will be requesting since he did indeed tell me he wants me to have one.
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