Who gave Paula Abdul a reality show?

I’d rather watch the golf channel while trying to slit my wrists with a butter knife.

Fuck, if I stay home much longer that could be my tomorrow.

Nope, I haven’t found a job yet and my emotional state has slowly fallen over the last week.

My doc put me on Lexapro and I’ve been taking it. Now the prescription has run out and I’ve left five messages for him over the last couple of weeks with no return phone call.

So basically I’m coming off of anti-depressants and guess what?? I’m a little depressed.

He gave me this particular pill to help me start to feel normal again and I was almost there.

Fuck it…back to booze I guess. I write better when I’m drunk anyway and I think that happiness is over-rated.

Plus happy people get on my fucking nerves.

I’m slowly running out of time and money.

My grandmother use to say “pick your self up by your boot straps and go on.”

That pill could have been sugar coated shit for all I know and my doctor always calls me back but not this time.

So I’ll carry on.

A couple of good things have happened.

My ex came through for me and got the non-smogable Monster smogged. It was a very shady deal without being shady at all…it was the white smog mafia. I loved it! I got my 08 tags today.
July will be my final credit card debt payment. $17,000 in execrating $500 payments for almost 4 years.

Unfortunately, there are a helluvalot of other people waiting in line for money I don’t have. I think that most people have that problem though.

I have to always remind myself I have so much more than most.

Including Xanax…excuse me…I have to go now…heh.