Anger drives me to....

cut weeds with a saw.

Before and after pictures.

I'm still not sure which looks best.

I kinda like the weeds...and yes...there is a cement pond in my backyard.

You can take the girl out of Texas but...

I fucking screamed all the way home…

FUCK.FUCK.FUCK

What. Is. The. Fucking. Problem?

Motherfucker…everyone is a motherfucker!!!

It’s making me fucking sick.

I had a flat on Thursday…surprised? I wasn’t.

After AAA came with an air can and filled it I drove to a gas station to have it fixed. There was a screw in it. Two minutes and he fixed it.

I just thought that, since he was a mechanic I would describe the problems with my car.

He knew two causes:

Fuel pump relay…$32.00

Air mass fucking indicator or some shit like that. It has a price tag of $700.

Guess what? It’s fucking neither.

Waited two days for the dealer part and picked it up today seventeen miles away in a car that…might want to go there. We never know…The Monster is “special.”

Replaced the relay in the parking lot. I was soooooo excited. I know better…because dark just doesn’t brush off that easy.

Wouldn’t start. Was I surprised? Actually, I was. Call me naive. Hell, I thought a Unicorn would appear when it fired up.

The bummer is when you buy a part and put it in you can’t return it…add that $32.59 to almost three grand…give or take a penny.

So I walked back in…you know, since I was there, and asked John my friendly 6’7 parts guy…

“Is there ANYTHING else it could be?

Seems John is a mechanic…he came out to my car and unplugged the air mass….whatever the fuck it’s called. He said if it runs bad with it connected and you unplug it and it runs fine with it disconnected then that is your problem.

Guess what children?

Didn’t run fine either way.

Now am I surprised? No.

For everyone out there saying…“Buy an new car!” Fuck off…if I had the money, I would.

Or maybe I wouldn’t. Now The Monster has become a puzzle and for all humanity I want to find out what the FUCK is wrong with it.

I had such high hopes for today...silly me…darkness ensues.

I'm fucking beside my self...I'm so fucking angry...I hate this part of me.

I heard them on KROQ...once...

Then they faded to oblivion.

It's insane to me that people have the talent to play a cello like a guitar, bass and vocals. I can see how it's equally as insane to look hot doing it.

I think they pull it off...quite well.

Release me from hell...

My car is in the shop and I'm watching The Hallmark Channel...

This is not good.

Oh...and it's like 100 degrees here...hence the hell.

This song has been in my head for two weeks...

Yes..I own "Beaches" and if I could come up with $150 bucks for a ticket to see her in Vegas...I so would.

Her voice is fucking astounding and I have never liked female singers but I've always liked her...she's fabulous.

Kodak moment...

Ripley will eat the food off my plate if I walk away for ten seconds...then, give me that face.

How do you get pissed at that?

Not the actual car...

Glimmer of hope. Interesting…on so many realms.

My Monster car…oh how I love it but it is still failing to give me the confidence that I need to fucking start it.

I talked to my Mom and on Mother’s Day my family hung out and discussed what would be done with my grandparent’s possessions since they have passed.

My Paw Paw’s car came up and my family wants to send it to me.

94 Ford Taurus with 36,000 miles on it. 36,000 miles...you're kidding me. Air conditioning…heat…oil changed when it should. My grandfather took very good care of his cars.

My Monster is, before my eyes, falling apart…but oh how I love it.

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday on an enormous Chevy truck that said “I’d rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford.”

He must have gone to fucking Harvard to be such a moron.

All of this makes no sense…I love the Monster and I don’t want to give it up but the Ford is kind of cute in a Ford kind of way.

Air conditioning? Are you fucking kidding me? Fabulous…I haven’t had that in years.

I’m sold.

One of my favorite quotes…

“I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful.
It's my biggest problem because I've never been
young and beautiful.
Oh, I've been beautiful, I've been young,
but never the twain have met.
Not so as anyone would notice.”

I think I’m fighting a losing battle.

I’m tired.

Life isn’t supposed to be this way

“Excuse me?”

Vet’s reply “I think that there is an error in the CPV test results from your vet.”

“So that means Sash might not have cancer?”

“Yes, looking at the CPV tests we did today it is 10% less that it was on Saturday the disease we thought she had does not get better by itself and the red cells do not go down.”

I almost passed out. I can’t believe it.

They want to test her again in three weeks…just to make sure.

What more can I say…

It was a brilliant day.