Midnight Express...

Has any one seen this movie?

It's actually a real story.

The real deal is actually on History channel.

Locked up abroad.

He smuggled 30 kls of hash when he got busted. Really?

I think he's still on hash.

Depression...

It's not me...it's my roommate.

I keep trying to make it better but I'm making it worse. He's my best friend and I can't make him happy.

People keep telling me I'm depressed. I don't think so.

There is a big black cloud over this house and it's not mine. It's his.

I thought I was dark. I can't wear enough black to compare to what he feels.

It makes me really sad.

I got a tid bit of information today...

It's fabulous. Do you want to hear?

Some one in the fam is addicted to crack. sweet.

Can you do crack and be 80 years old?

yup.

Welcome to my family.

Shit.

I love how people think they can make me be like them.

really...serious? They tell me what to do, where to go, how to feel and as they talk I start staring at walls thinking of how I can paint that person. I have to because I'd lose my mind if I didn't.

I buried the bitch that I was a long time ago and people know that. Guess what? When you put that part of you out there the swarm comes in. They eat you alive because I became the weak. It's fabulous.

From what I've heard I don't think right. Maybe I don't. Who gives a fuck what I think. No one... but they like to talk about it.

Can some one tell me what I do right? Hmmm....can you hear the crickets?

I just unburied the bitch.

I make a statement on face book about my father...

One statement.

"I don't know what it's like to have father" and the Italians came.

I could see the touches over the internet like I'm Goddamn Frankenstein.

My Uncle Nick Slammed me but then again he slammed him self.

"The drunks, the abusers and the drug addicts...you are in a millions of the club but not an evil one..."

Huh?

I told him to go fuck off.

By the by...My sister slammed me too. She use to be Switzerland. Not any more.

I Guess she loves the father now. There were pictures posted with the father, Nick, Rossi and Gina.

Where was my MOTHER?

I can bet you a million dollars she wasn't there.

Happy Father's Day Mom.

She did both...she is fabulous!!!

"And your birthday is?"

"7.31.65." He didn't even blink.

I was at the Social Security office to get a replacement card.

Birth certificates mean nothing.

I was born on the 30th...everything that I have is the 31st and that's my birthday but not really.

How did I fool the system for this long with out knowing it?

That's easy...no one ever looked at my birth certificate.

I meant a guy this morning at the grocery store...

His name was Ransom. To me that's holding a person hostage.

He was a tall man buying milk and a donut. Hurt. I could see it in his face.

I was standing behind him in the check out lane with four $1 Stoufer meals and little bit of Vodka...okay a lot.

I said "What kind of donut did you get?"

"Cherry Danish"

"I perfer apple fitters."

He said he likes those too but the only thing that wasn't stale wast the cherry danish.

He walked away and I checked out.

I was walking to my car and I heard my name and I turned around and it was him.

I know the people that are trying to take some one for a ride...he's not one of those.

I met a good person today. I don't know may people can say that or take the time to make the effort.

Ransom was a blink in my life and after hearing his story in the Von's parking lot.

I like blinking It brings to life the people you pass by every day.

I'm starting to remember things I don't want to...

And it's not good.

I've trained my brain to not remember. Yeah...I am that smart. It's called survivor mode.

Guess what? I didn't train my brain that well.

The memories are coming back.

I don't want them to.

It brings up the RAGE in me but I can't stop 14 years of memories. I'm not that good.

But I am not going to be him. I'm better than that. He wanted me to be evil.

Guess what? He lost.

I like shiny things. A pretty penny is good for me. It makes me happy.

That fucking asshole...nothing made him happy. Not even a blowjob but he wrote on ever card he bought me. His famous line was "I bought you this card now do I get a blowjob?

Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Happy Valentines Day...it was on every fucking card.

And I stayed with him because I wanted the man that I fell in love with to come back.

It doesn't happen. He almost killed me.

ALMOST.