It subsided today for a while…

Xanax didn’t hurt.

But…from an unexpended source the words came…

“How do you feel?”

“I’m learning to take it day by day.”

He said “I know how it feels, I’ve been though it, even though it was a long time ago. I understand.”

I know some people get it and some don’t…and I pray those people that don’t, don't ever have to go through it. I wouldn’t wish this shit on my worst enemy.

Not even him...not even Vance.

I had to tell my Mom this weekend I was going to therapy…she didn’t disagree but she had the “tone”.

I’m starting to finally feel better and I know it’s because of my friends…but I’m still shit and I know it. I keep saying that because it’s true to me. No one can erase something instilled for years in my mind. It’s not possible. I don’t believe I’m a good person because he told me for years I was a horrible human being.

But I think I’m winning the battle now…I don’t think I believe him anymore.

But only time can tell.

All I want to know is why he tried to steal my sunshine.

I only wanted happiness.

Man…he took everything.