Guns and Roses and the ex calls….
I haven’t heard from him in a couple of months except for the random phone calls that I don’t answer.
I actually picked up the phone tonight when he called. That was a true mistake. He will NEVER be kind to me….never.
Phone call:
Me: Hi.
DD: Can you put my cell phone bill in the mail box?
Me: Yes I will.
DD: Tonight or tomorrow?
Me: Tomorrow
DD: I still wanted to be able to talk to you.
Me: I don’t know what you want me to say
DD: I don’t give a FUCK what you have to say
Me: “click”
I’m tired.
I have to accept. Fuck it…whatever….
It still upsets me. I can’t deny it. You love and care for someone for years and in their eyes you are garbage. I still don’t get that. I keep trying to validate myself and think that I was the good one. I guess no one is really the good one.
I didn’t ….cheat….steal….lie…and fuck someone over or fuck someone else. He did.
I didn’t do it to him. So why did he do it to me?
If you don’t love someone anymore, can’t you say so? Why can’t you tell them and just leave. Why do you have to put them through so much misery? Lead them to believe that you are still in love with them. I don’t get it.
I had disillusions of grandeur….or have… I guess I always will.
I actually picked up the phone tonight when he called. That was a true mistake. He will NEVER be kind to me….never.
Phone call:
Me: Hi.
DD: Can you put my cell phone bill in the mail box?
Me: Yes I will.
DD: Tonight or tomorrow?
Me: Tomorrow
DD: I still wanted to be able to talk to you.
Me: I don’t know what you want me to say
DD: I don’t give a FUCK what you have to say
Me: “click”
I’m tired.
I have to accept. Fuck it…whatever….
It still upsets me. I can’t deny it. You love and care for someone for years and in their eyes you are garbage. I still don’t get that. I keep trying to validate myself and think that I was the good one. I guess no one is really the good one.
I didn’t ….cheat….steal….lie…and fuck someone over or fuck someone else. He did.
I didn’t do it to him. So why did he do it to me?
If you don’t love someone anymore, can’t you say so? Why can’t you tell them and just leave. Why do you have to put them through so much misery? Lead them to believe that you are still in love with them. I don’t get it.
I had disillusions of grandeur….or have… I guess I always will.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 10:44 PM
2 Comments:
oh,i. .. i told you not to pick up the phone. he's evil and that won't change.. ever.
even though you still have this limited contact with him, remind yourself that you're free, you're free, you're free. it's like that line from Fight Club: "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." that sounds depressing at first until you really think about it... you made it through the end of something big. and now you're free to do anything. don't forget that. you can pretty much reinvent yourself if you want to. cool, huh?
oh, and you'll have e-mail later tonight. no, really. :)
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