Suicide and an ottoman…
I bought this ottoman at out of the closet. Beautiful. $15 dollars. My mom would be so pissed. Ummm….plus 2 shirts and a pair of jeans. $27….. sorry mom.
Suicide and an ottoman…..you may ask?
Me and m talked about suicide today. Not that we are going to do it….in general.
Bothers me. I dated a guy that shot himself. Put a gun in his mouth pointed up and blew his brains out. It was 8:00 in the morning. His whole family was home. mother, father, sister and his brother. He did it in the family bathroom. He did leave a suicide letter. His mom didn’t even have a chance to read it. She didn’t even see it until the police came. They took it. I use to go over and see her after he died. She never told me what the letter said. I still to this day wonder what that letter said. By the way the really horrible fact of this story is his mother had to clean the bathroom.
But my ottoman is beautiful! Really!
Did I love him? Yes. If he was still around would I be married to him? Yes.
He was my Joe.
So simple and so sweet.
If for one second I could take back something….anything….to make him alive again. What did I not see? He told me. He told me that he had a gun. He told me that he couldn’t take it anymore. He said he had pointed the gun at his head 20 times. What did I do? Made some stupid crappy joke. Bravo India! You are so…so…..so….I can’t even describe why. A moment in time that I just can’t take back. Why didn’t I do something?
I didn’t think that he was serious. Man, that’s a laugh. Joe had a gun…..and I didn’t think he was serious. He was asking for help and I didn’t help. I didn’t understand.
Suicide never ends for the people that are left
Suicide,
Such a pretty word
For such a horrible act.
Suicide and an ottoman…..you may ask?
Me and m talked about suicide today. Not that we are going to do it….in general.
Bothers me. I dated a guy that shot himself. Put a gun in his mouth pointed up and blew his brains out. It was 8:00 in the morning. His whole family was home. mother, father, sister and his brother. He did it in the family bathroom. He did leave a suicide letter. His mom didn’t even have a chance to read it. She didn’t even see it until the police came. They took it. I use to go over and see her after he died. She never told me what the letter said. I still to this day wonder what that letter said. By the way the really horrible fact of this story is his mother had to clean the bathroom.
But my ottoman is beautiful! Really!
Did I love him? Yes. If he was still around would I be married to him? Yes.
He was my Joe.
So simple and so sweet.
If for one second I could take back something….anything….to make him alive again. What did I not see? He told me. He told me that he had a gun. He told me that he couldn’t take it anymore. He said he had pointed the gun at his head 20 times. What did I do? Made some stupid crappy joke. Bravo India! You are so…so…..so….I can’t even describe why. A moment in time that I just can’t take back. Why didn’t I do something?
I didn’t think that he was serious. Man, that’s a laugh. Joe had a gun…..and I didn’t think he was serious. He was asking for help and I didn’t help. I didn’t understand.
Suicide never ends for the people that are left
Suicide,
Such a pretty word
For such a horrible act.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 11:02 PM
2 Comments:
i'm sorry about your joe, no one takes things like that seriously, b/c we can't imagine doing that. ya know what i mean?? i want a pic of the ottoman!!
i kind of agree with what mindy has said. we can't imagine doing that. and unless you're really, totally inside a person's mind, how can you really predict what they'll do? let yourself off the hook, India. i know it's an easy thing for me to say, when i've never been through anything like that. but you can't take responsibility for someone else's choice, even though your heart may tell you otherwise. i'm sorry you lost Your Joe. i hope you can make peace with this.
(and i hope my comments aren't disrespectful in any way; they weren't meant to be.)
oh...and i think i've got an e-mail to finish still, don't i?
did i mention i am a bad correspondent...?
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