This is how my morning, afternoon and evening went...or is going

Woke up late this morning….ummm…really late. Thank goodness I have a partner in crime at work and they covered for me.

I was rushing around the house like a lunatic! Got the heart a tickin again though! Ran to my car jumped in and off I went. For some reason I looked down at the gas gauge. DAMN! “Please move up little needle….pppllleeeaaassseee!! Purty please!” I disregarded my car’s need for food. Decided to go it on fumes. I made it. Whew! Now just had to sneak into the office. That was pretty easy. It seems no one even knew I wasn’t there. It made me wonder if that was good or bad. I immediately forgot that question as I turned to my computer and pulled up my email. Started to read the first one and realized I had been staring at the first couple of words for quite some time. I was not reading it, merely looking at it. Coffee….need coffee.

As the day progressed it got pretty busy so I woke up a little more. But I still had the freaky thing that I get when I get really tired. My mind asks too many questions and then *poof* the question is gone and it’s off to another question….then another….so on. Mind you, with no answers. So this is how my mental Q&A went for the rest of the day.

When I went outside to smoke there was a girl out there with a flower in her hair…a real one. I asked myself “Why does that look cute in her hair but put it in mine and I would look like a dork and why would it look bad on me...and why can she do it and not me? Doesn’t it need water? Does she have a glass of water at her desk and when she goes back in she will put it in the water?” Done smoking walk back in the building...flower forgetten.

I was waiting for the elevator with another man. The elevator came and when the doors opened the man stepped aside to let me go first. As the door closed I thought “Why do men do that? How did that start? Did it start because they just want to look at a woman ass so they step aside to get a glimpse?” Man got off elevator…my question went with him.

Back to work…day was almost done. At this point I kind of hit a lull and returned to staring at my computer screen. Pondering many questions all of which I can’t remember. Whistle blows! Woo Hoo! Quittin time! A new sense of energy hits me.

I walk to the parking garage and it dawns on me that I was so late I had to park on the top level which is uncovered. It was fucking hot here today people and my car has no air. Stupid fucking heater coil and why do that call that part that anyway? I need air not heat!! Yeah when I opened the door it felt like I just opened the door to my oven. I don’t usually sit in my oven though and I had to sit in this shit. Rolled down the windows, by the way, I don’t have the fancy smansy electric windows….after rolling them down I was drenched. That’s ok…work is done and home is a snap away….there’s no place like home….there’s no place like home….Put the key in started the monster up and then noticed the gas gauge. FUCK!! I need fucking gas! Ok…that’s fine….fine…it will only take a second. So I floated to the gas station down the street….that's when the Q&A started in full force.

I was pumping gas and two women came walking down the street. My first thought was not a question…well actually it was WTF? This woman had the biggest chest I think that I’ve ever see…without a bra. Questions started…Do they make an XXXXXX bra? If they do, why isn’t she wearing one? Are they actually bouncing against each other as she walks? Doesn’t she feel that? Doesn’t it occur to her that she might NEED a bra? She caught me staring at her…I’m sorry it was like a train wreck…I just couldn’t look away. Gas done….home now please. Pulled out of the gas station and almost hit a woman on her cell phone wanting to turn left in the right lane...without her blinke on in a Geo Metro or a Ford Festiva. I can't tell them apart...and I don't want to...all I asked myself was... Why was it made? Fugly cars. When they drew up the designs, didn’t someone stand up and say “We can’t do this to the car world”? I had an answer to that question. No…..no one stood up because they are all crawling around city streets as I type.

I forgot that I had to go by the store and on the way there my usually questions…why are stop signs red and why are yield signs yellow…oh good song on the radio….”Ballroom Blitz”…who sings that?

Store finally. Go in get what I need quick…Corny Dogs…yummy…Why do they call them that? I watched a show on it but don’t remember. I got up to the counter and a woman walked up behind me. She had one item. A bag of cinnamon and raisin bagels. That’s all. Where’s the cream cheese? Maybe she doesn’t like cream cheese. Does she just like butter on them? If she does is she sure she has butter in the fridge...and why is she coming to the store just for these? Just a craving? Her husband had to have them for the morning? Cashier “Hi”. Bagels gone from questioning. Paid, left and headed home.

One the way home I had no more question about outer objects but trying to remember a joke I heard a long time ago. After many questions of course…I think I remembered it correctly.

A woman in a grocery store walks up to the counter and starts putting her purchases down. Several frozen dinners, couple of beers, couple of sodas all very individual items for one. The man standing in front of her looks down at what she intends to purchase and says “Single huh?” The woman quietly chuckles and says “Yes, how did you know?” The man says “Cause you’re fucking ugly”. Yeah I know crude joke…but it got me home….and made me quietly chuckle.

Third times a charm...Dorothy leaves OZ….there’s now place like home.