“Yo Bitch…what up?”
The little fucking rodent doesn’t even run anymore. He just hangs out on the counter warming his hands by the light of the mouse sensors. “Thanks for the heaters…I really appreciate it. Did they set you back much?”
“Listen you little fucker…why don’t you fucking get a clue and get the fuck out of here!”
As he sat down on the little mousey couch his buddy helped him move up to my kitchen counter, cracked a beer, crossed his legs…he replied “Where’s the love? I should have realized something was up when you stopped leaving the plate by the bed with my midnight crumb snacks. This wouldn’t be about the little hottie I brought over the other night would it? She meant nothing to me I swear…I don’t know why the little slut is still hanging around here.”
As I stood there with my hands on my hips tapping my foot I said “That’s it! I’m going to buy one of the snap the rodents head off traps.”
“Ahhh babe…I know you won’t do that. I’ve heard you talking to all your friends about me. I know you love the little furry fuckers….I’ve seen your ex. By the way can you pick up some tennis balls tomorrow…me and the dogs have started playing catch while your at work.”
He yawned…checked his watch, stretched out his arms and got up from the couch. “Sorry to cut this little chat short but I’m going out tonight…don’t wait up….I’ll wake you when I get home.”
As he walked away...he turned around and with one furry eyebrow lifted said “You might want to think about getting out more yourself because if you’re sitting around making up stories about a mouse talking to you…you might want to think about getting a life.”
“Listen you little fucker…why don’t you fucking get a clue and get the fuck out of here!”
As he sat down on the little mousey couch his buddy helped him move up to my kitchen counter, cracked a beer, crossed his legs…he replied “Where’s the love? I should have realized something was up when you stopped leaving the plate by the bed with my midnight crumb snacks. This wouldn’t be about the little hottie I brought over the other night would it? She meant nothing to me I swear…I don’t know why the little slut is still hanging around here.”
As I stood there with my hands on my hips tapping my foot I said “That’s it! I’m going to buy one of the snap the rodents head off traps.”
“Ahhh babe…I know you won’t do that. I’ve heard you talking to all your friends about me. I know you love the little furry fuckers….I’ve seen your ex. By the way can you pick up some tennis balls tomorrow…me and the dogs have started playing catch while your at work.”
He yawned…checked his watch, stretched out his arms and got up from the couch. “Sorry to cut this little chat short but I’m going out tonight…don’t wait up….I’ll wake you when I get home.”
As he walked away...he turned around and with one furry eyebrow lifted said “You might want to think about getting out more yourself because if you’re sitting around making up stories about a mouse talking to you…you might want to think about getting a life.”
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 6:47 PM
2 Comments:
India, I believe you.
I saw it happen in
"Malibu's Most Wanted"
The next thing you know, he'll ask for your car keys!
I think the ghetto style Master Splinter room mate beats a talking cockroach any day of the week. Fo shizzle my nizzle. ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home