I am Wilson...

I had a comment on my last post from Brad asking if I’ve ever shown my entire face. In life I have to but I still hide by looking at the ground. Hey, I’ve found a lot of money that way.

I turn to the side or hide behind anything when a camera is in front of me. If it happens to be video…I run for the hills.

I think it’s incredible that people can pose for a camera and not hide at least some form of their face. I envy them. I was quite the ham when I was younger in front of the video camera.

I was the girl with the lampshade on her head. I was the life of the party. I was the entertaining fat girl…that’s how I got my humor. I didn’t have much else to make people like me.

I guess it started with my father calling me an ugly piglet. I think he thought it was endearing…I know now he was an asshole for it.

A friend of mine once said “You need to realize how attractive you are before it’s to late?”

“To late for what?”

“A husband India.”

“Who said husband…did I say that last night when I was drunk?”

“No, but you need to start thinking about it.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone wants to find their true love and no one wants to die alone.”

“EVERYONE dies alone.”

“That’s not my point India.”

“I know, I just don’t think the way you do.”

We are no longer friends of course…after Vance left and I found half my brain she still wanted to tell me what to do or how to feel. No one will ever do that to me again.

I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years and earned far betters ones…but two have stood by me…heh…the M&M’s.

There is also another friend that helped me find my face again and made me realize I’m not the monster I thought I was.

People judge so harshly from what they see on the outside.

They never have a clue what’s on the inside.