Annoyed...

I would have erased the cell phone in that picture but as the title says...annoyed and I thought it was kinda cool.

I woke up this morning and blinked razor blades. Yes, just another one of the freaky things I have going on with my body. I’ve talked about it here before but if you didn’t read it basically I have a cut on le' eyeball that will never heal but will give me grief every now and again. I’m sorry not grief but intense pain.

As I drove to work with tears rolling down my face and hitting my white shirt (making me look like I had just walked off the dance floor in a trashy bar after entering a wet t-shirt contest...yes I have done this in my past and no I’m not telling you) I was thinking just what a crappy day this was going to be. I know. setting the standard for the day but I was in a bad mood.
When I got to work everyone asked what was wrong with my eye or if I was crying. “Something in my eye. Something in my eye. No, I’m not crying. I know they were trying to be nice and I probably would have asked the same if it were someone else.

I started getting annoyed and after that everything was more annoying than it should have been. There was a company party tonight for clients. I didn’t find out about it until yesterday and that was only because I over heard someone talking about it. I was not invited, nor told that it was happening.

We all know I’m not the most popular girl at the prom and even if asked...I probably wouldn’t have gone but it’s nice to be asked (and no I will not discuss my gay prom date). Nope. Everyone left one by one talking about the gala event with out uttering a word to me. Fine...only a couple of more hours and I’m outta here for the day.

Then I get the email and the voicemail. While smoking (yes I’m trying to quit, stop hounding me) one of the IT guys from legal was out there. He talks to me ever now and again when he sees me. I don’t know him very well but he sat down next to me and starting talking. We were talking about computers and I mentioned that I got this computer. He told me that he had all these programs and music that he could download on it. I said “That would be cool.” This was said in a non-committal kind of way. That was Monday, he said “How about Wednesday? I think I could do it on Wednesday" he said "Where do you live?” “Ummm...Glendale.” I said. “Oh that’s great, I play in pool tournaments there. I’ll send you a list of all the programs I have. We can buy a six pack and order pizza while I work on your computer. Ok gotta go, talk to you soon.”

Did I agree to anything just now?

He was cool to offer. He emailed me a list of the programs he had and told me to pick. I’ve actually been busy and forgot to reply...or maybe I just remembered to forget. Read all this until you judge me...or don't...I don't give a shit.

I saw him again yesterday. He said “You didn’t reply to my email.” “I’m really sorry, I’ve been busy and I forgot.” “That’s cool that’s what I figured. I’ll email you my contact info and call me and let me know when you want me to work on your computer.”

Again, I asked my self...did I agree to anything? I didn't even ask him for anything.

Today after lunch I got a voicemail from him saying that he had emailed me. Oy...don’t leave me a voicemail telling me you emailed me it’s a waste of my time and yours especially a voicemail that’s 2 minutes long talking about an email.

Now before you think I am a complete bitch you must understand that for years I received anywhere from 20 to 50 phone calls a day from the ex and was forced, on too many occasions, to hang out with people that I didn’t wish to. So I have an extremely low tolerance for people cornering me. I can talk to people that I like for hours but ones I don’t know or that I just don’t have chemistry with...the low tolerance kicks in.

I know he’s probably just trying to be nice and I feel bad talking about him but it bothers me that he won’t let it be.
There is also one more factor that I remembered yesterday. About a year ago we had a temp working in our department. She was probably half his age. He came over to my cube one day.

He said “I’ve talked to you a couple of times and knew you worked in the same department as this girl I saw on the elevator today. I think we had a moment because she smiled at me. What is her name?”
“Uhhh...that would be S.”
“What do you think? Do you think I have a chance?”
“Uhhh...I don’t know. I don’t know her that well, she’s a temp and I don’t really know you at all.”
“Look wise do you think I have a chance?”
“Dude, I have no idea.”
“Alright, I’ll take it from here.”
Yeah...you do that and never give me images of you lusting after anyone else because it’s gross and I don’t fucking know you.

Now I know why I have red flags about this guy. It all comes down to what I’ve been told. Nothing is for free. Especially if it's coming from some creepy guy that lusts after 20 year olds. Well...ok what guy wouldn’t but would you ask a stranger you work with about her? I feel bad for blowing him off. I know I have to call him tomorrow and just tell him something. But he isn't coming to my house. In his defense he said I could bring my mac to the office and he would take it home and download the programs. Ummm...yeah...not. The beast goes nowhere unless I'm with it.

Besides...someone else is going to send me the program that I really need and he told me all I have to do is blow him.
Heh..but I know him.

There’s a difference.