I rarely cry…
I hate the sound in my ears of me sobbing.
The last time I really cried was when my grandfather died and the time before that was when my grandmother died.
I stood in my kitchen tonight and tears just started to fall…as always I shut down the water works.
“Control India, what do you have to cry about?” I kept asking myself that. Everything and nothing was my answer.
I have nothing to cry about. I just get sad sometimes about the things I should have done or shouldn’t have done. I’m angry for the things that people did to me and I’m angry for letting them do it to me.
I have only myself to blame.
I can cry all I want to but it’s not going to change history and it sure as shit isn’t going to change me.
I do understand suicide now…it’s the easy way out.
I have to admit, the one thing I love about life is the pain.
The last time I really cried was when my grandfather died and the time before that was when my grandmother died.
I stood in my kitchen tonight and tears just started to fall…as always I shut down the water works.
“Control India, what do you have to cry about?” I kept asking myself that. Everything and nothing was my answer.
I have nothing to cry about. I just get sad sometimes about the things I should have done or shouldn’t have done. I’m angry for the things that people did to me and I’m angry for letting them do it to me.
I have only myself to blame.
I can cry all I want to but it’s not going to change history and it sure as shit isn’t going to change me.
I do understand suicide now…it’s the easy way out.
I have to admit, the one thing I love about life is the pain.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 5:07 AM
3 Comments:
Pain is how we know we're alive.
Hang in there kiddo. I won't patronize you by throwing cliches. Just realize that no matter how bad things are, you've got people here for you.
...Now go blow up someone's mailbox with a large firework, and celebrate the nation's birthday the American way.
Are you sure you only have yourself to blame? If you need some other scapegoats, parents are an easy mark.
I didn't blow up anyones mailbox but I did think that I almost caught my friend's roof on fire with some fireworks. Opps.
Yes grumble you are correct...I can always blame my father...at least he's good for something!
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