Our office party is on December 20th.

I guess it’s a really big deal. “White Elephant” presents along with “Secret Santa.” The topper was today.

The president’s assistant sent out and email that said…

“Tell me something that no one knows about you or no one would expect it would be you. It’s for a game at the Xmas party.”

I already knew what my response was…I just needed to know the realm of which it would be used.

I had to go and ask her what the game was.

She collects the responses and prints them out and everyone has to figure out which person said which comment.

She gave me last years list and the only one that stuck out in my mind was…

“I was caught in a buffalo stampede.”

Heh. I still have to ask that guy “How?”

I also had to ask her “No one is easily offended here right?” Even if I tell something a little freaky?” She said “No, I’m sure they asked you on your interview if you could accept this kind of working environment.”

“Yeah…both interviews.”

“Everything is freaky here…it’s our working environment.”

So I went with my initial response.

“I once dated a guy that use to secretly wear women lingerie under his clothes.”

She sits a few cubes down from my office…as soon as I hit send I heard her scream…

“OH YEAH! THAT’S FABOULOUS! I LOVE THIS GAME!!!”

I walked out and said “Ya like that one?”

“Oh India you have no idea.”

Let’s see if I can beat the buffalo stampede comment.

Doubtful.

By the way my second choice was…

“I’m a kindergarten drop out.”

I tried to write something humorous tonight…

I just can’t.

I thought of a thousand one liners to make me feel better.

I got nada.

Except for…

“Why did the banana go to the doctor?”

Because he wasn’t peeling well.

Heh.

Slaps a smile on my face every fucking time I hear it...or type it.

Holy shit…

I can’t belive it has come to this…

Elvis must be spinning in his grave.

“You don’t have a fucking chicken?”

Its turkey day. Wouldn’t turkey be sparse and chicken abundant?

Ummm….no.

All I wanted was a fucking chicken.

Three stores later I scored.

It was delious.

Happy Fucking Chicken Day!

I forgot…

That I look like that.

And I want to kill myself that I forgot…or forget.

Me and T…

She came down on Saturday. We went out and got trashed.

It was fantastic!

We went to a really snooty restaurant and had really crappy food for way to much money and I think we got two shrimp and an eel roll so we turned around and drove through “In and Out” and ate the best burgers we ever had.

Run on sentence, I know but it explains it.

Neither one of us has had the best last few months but Saturday made it a little better.

You never know when life is going to give you a good night.

By my standards it’s few and far between…

Don’t blame my Mac…

It seems my family is frustrated with my purchase.

It has finally come out after almost a year.

My mother told me last night that my brother was disappointed how I choose to use the money that he sent me last Christmas.

It was a fucking Christmas present. Guess I should have checked how to use it before I bought this baby and I kicked in $300.

My sister confirmed tonight that my brother had said he was disappointed in me.

For fucking what? You send me money for fucking Christmas and I have to spend it by your standards?

That’s not a fucking Christmas present.

Last night was pretty bad with my mom telling me this shit but tonight was worse.

My sister was brutal.

Nothing like a good bashing on a Friday night.

To break it down…my family thinks I’m shit.

It’s cool with me but I can’t say it doesn’t hurt.

THISISHOWBADMYNIGHTWENT

I have found hell on earth…

Venice Boulevard at 5:45pm.

2 1/2 hour ride home for the second night.

Cherry on the top tonight was being stuck behind a mini van for 30 minutes.

Fucking mini vans.

HAHA!!!

Piece O’ Pizza made me laugh this morning…

You probably can’t see the sentence underneath.

“Had a piece lately?”

It was funny until I mentally answered that question.

No.

It wasn’t so funny anymore.

Fuck.

I’m a little pissed…

Why do people have to be so fucked up?

Of course...this question will never be answered.

I heard a whisper in my ear.

I was standing at the doorway of the billing managers office.

I spun around to no one.

I looked around…nothing.

Nancy looked at me “Are you ok?”

“Ummm…yeah. Did you see someone just walk by…Chris maybe.”

“No.”

She started talking about invoices and tear sheets and I don’t remember one fucking word of it.

The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.

It was like a warm breath blew in my ear…a dark, hollow “heyyy.”

I always thought ghosts wandered at night.

Seems one dragged his ass out of bed this afternoon.

Who thought of this?

It’s amazing. It’s so close to Pumpkin pie I want to heat it up and put vanilla ice cream on it.

That’s some good fucking ice cream.