What a fucking fabulous day…

Words can’t describe the mass of a simple sporting event.

I don’t get out much and I’m speechless.

It was fucking fantastic!

It’s funny…

People seriously tell me that I’m crazy…and I am. I kind of like it that way.

No one was here. No one knows the realm. Yeah…I’m fucked up on so many levels…this I know. But don’t tell me how you think I should be. I lived in an ugly world for a fucking long time. No one can tell me shit after what I lived through. I know I stayed to long and I know that I talk about it often but I wear abuse well…or not.

I am so insanely angry right now that I can’t see straight. I can’t believe I let him beat me and beat Sasha. I don’t want to remember what is now coming out. There are stories I haven’t told anyone…not even you Mindy.

Some stories are better left untold.

I’ve been around so much noise and drama over the last week that my ears hurt…my head hurts and the empathy in my soul is done.

But it’s all good.

Life goes on right?

He’s watching Hairspray…

Over and over and over again.

Release me from hell. He is also talking to the people...that he thinks are there. I was going to stay home for Thanksgiving but the influx is too much. It's making me crazy. I lived with this and I refuse to stand silent living next door to it.

I am writing that check for rent at the end of the month. But I have learned how to use the video button on my cell phone. So my landlord saying he can’t judge him because he wasn’t here…just went out the fucking window.

I may be simple but I’m not stupid.

But SOMEONE has to tell me how to post these fucking videos...they are fabulous!!!

Though I don’t condone the slaughtering of roses….

I must admit, begrudgingly, that my heart is not as black as I imagined.

Six simple roses melted a little ice off a heart that I thought was forever frozen.

And now I don’t know what to feel.

Fucking roses.

As I type…

The next door neighbor is talking to the police.

When I called I specified for them to contact me only by phone.

He got too weird.

I can’t take it after what I’ve lived through. My tolerance for this has hit zero.

I pay rent…I deserve to have my front door open without him talking to hologram people in the common yard. I want peace when I come home. That’s all I want.

I don’t think I’m asking too much.

BUT…as I was just told by the police department…there is no problem and he has agreed to keep it down.

What down?

His drug addiction or Jessica Simpson?

“India…do you see the people?”

That’s what I got from my next door neighbor as I walked through the gates…gates of hell, lately.

“Don’t you hear them?”

“Uhh…no, Chris I don’t.”

“There right here, they are everywhere, I can almost hear them they are like poltergeists…but not. They are holograms…I think that my brother has put me into a video game. He can do that you know. I had to call the police last night, the people were every where.”

He banged on the garage wall and said “Don’t you see him? He’s laughing because I hit his face.”

“No Chris, I don’t see him.”

“It’s because Nick hasn’t put you in the game yet. Come over here and look…you can see them in the apartment windows…don’t you see them looking?”

“No Chris, I don’t.”

“I called the police last night they came and I explained. They didn’t see them either. My dogs see them and I know your dogs sense them, I can tell when I’m out in the yard telling them to go away…they bark and whine.”

“Speaking of my dogs, Chris I have to go and let mine out.”

“Okay, India if you hear me talking to people outside I’m just trying to make them go away…okay?”

“Okay, Chris.

I’m not easily freaked out…that was a little chilly. The guy was out of his fucking mind.

I could hear him talking for about an hour “to the people” and now all is silent.

I don’t know which is more frightening.

Static…all day…

All. Fucking. Day.

My hair is plastered to my face.

I burnt out two light bulbs tonight as well.

No wonder I don’t have a car that works.

Not a good day…a self-loathing day. They are few and far between with me but they still exist.

I’m good…I slapped that smile on my face and helped everyone that needed it without a second thought, without a scowl. I pride myself in that. No one deserves someone else’s grief.

It was a tough day…in my mind.

It actually became enlightening when I ventured on my own…without anyone’s advice.

You find the answers if you look hard enough…or ask the right questions.

I refuse to leave questions unanswered anymore.

Oh Golly Gee...

How I so wanted him to win...NOPE!

I love America!!!

Now I thought I was crazy…

But my next door neighbor is taking the crazy train to the loony bin.

I’m not one to judge things of this nature but the guy is off his fucking rocker.

Speed does amazing things…none of which are good.