The following blog…
Has not been spell checked or read through.
A fellow blogger cut me a clue
It made me think.
Thinking about my decade of darkness is not good for me.
But I have to.
The Docs? They were cool guys…they just didn’t ask ONE question.
Have you ever been physically abused?
Follow me here because I just found out this today…via internet and it rings true.
Anterior interosseous syndrome
I forgot what he use to do that me…even before booze and drugs.
Until today.
I’m right handed. I draw…I write (yes with a pen) and paint.
It was my right arm…he always pin pointed.
Do you know what it’s like to have some one grab your arm with such force that you think it just might come off and then bite it? I’m not talking love bites he bit and held on.
Over and over and over and over and over…
Ah it comes in waves.
My mind wants to forget…but it’s losing at this point.
I don’t want to remember this.
I just don’t.
I always think “What have I done?”
Now I realize…He fucked me over, fucked me up and I have no one to blame but myself.
Plain and simple.
I didn’t leave.
To tell everyone the honest truth…(even Mindy) ya’ll don’t know the half of it because no one was here…but me.
I always said it wasn’t that bad.
Why do you think I call him the decade of darkness.
So…now that I’m starting to remember things that I should forget…do I just let them ffffffffffffllllllllllllooooooooowwwwww?
The world can go fuck it self.
I don’t give a shit any more.
A fellow blogger cut me a clue
It made me think.
Thinking about my decade of darkness is not good for me.
But I have to.
The Docs? They were cool guys…they just didn’t ask ONE question.
Have you ever been physically abused?
Follow me here because I just found out this today…via internet and it rings true.
Anterior interosseous syndrome
I forgot what he use to do that me…even before booze and drugs.
Until today.
I’m right handed. I draw…I write (yes with a pen) and paint.
It was my right arm…he always pin pointed.
Do you know what it’s like to have some one grab your arm with such force that you think it just might come off and then bite it? I’m not talking love bites he bit and held on.
Over and over and over and over and over…
Ah it comes in waves.
My mind wants to forget…but it’s losing at this point.
I don’t want to remember this.
I just don’t.
I always think “What have I done?”
Now I realize…He fucked me over, fucked me up and I have no one to blame but myself.
Plain and simple.
I didn’t leave.
To tell everyone the honest truth…(even Mindy) ya’ll don’t know the half of it because no one was here…but me.
I always said it wasn’t that bad.
Why do you think I call him the decade of darkness.
So…now that I’m starting to remember things that I should forget…do I just let them ffffffffffffllllllllllllooooooooowwwwww?
The world can go fuck it self.
I don’t give a shit any more.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 4:38 PM
2 Comments:
Read about 'Anterior interosseous syndrome'...I see how that could be dreadfully painful especially writing and drawing. Sounds like 'the prince' there was trying to take the things you enjoy/love away so all you would have left to enjoy would be him? Yes, people like that, as sad as they are, can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
I am not a doctor but I wonder what inheritently good things could help relieve this pain? Massage maybe or glucosamine (glucosamine's typically used for joint/cartilige revitalization so don't know if would work for nerve damage).
On a spiritual level, surround yourself with healing objects like crystals and malachite. Polish and wear or arrange them in circles, think and speak healing statements while doing it. Also, creative visualization..your mind is so, so powerful. More so than we could ever fully realize.
"Sounds like 'the prince' there was trying to take the things you enjoy/love away so all you would have left to enjoy would be him? Yes, people like that, as sad as they are, can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut."
Yes Dee, the above statement is so right. He took my good...and i let him.
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