Is there never never land?

Me and M talked about death tonight. Nice, pleasant, Wednesday night conversation. Isn’t it funny how that happens? At the most unexpected times we talk about the unexpected.

M told me about a dream she had. I won’t divulge too much because we keep M secret here. Unless….she will let me???? The dream did entail a point of not breathing. This scared her as well as me….hell, I almost passed out just from her talking about it. We started talking about times in our lives that we almost bit the bullet. Not the times in high school or college when you drank too much, were stupid, walked home alone and shouldn’t have but the real times that it could have been over…..and you saw it coming, but it didn’t happen.

M’s was a car wreck. Head on crash. She thought she was dead. I saw the pictures that were taken after it happened. Yes…I could see how she thought that. I’m surprised that she lived through it. MY M!!!!!

For me I have 2 times. One I was in the left hand turn lane and there was a car in front of me. I had a RX-7 at the time and looked to my left to see a huge Explorer that was not stopping for the red on his side. I still remember me talking…or screaming to the car in front of me “MOVE…MOVE….GO….GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! At the last second the car in front of me pulled up and the Explorer that was still probably going 60 went past my back bumper. It still makes me sweat a little. I did see in my rear view mirror the car pulled over. I think it hit the car behind me.

Second time…
At work I was parking across the street at one point. There is a huge cross walk. I had the little green man telling me it was ok to “walk”….little green man is a liar. To all the little children out there, young and old don’t trust that thing!!!! He’s evil! Anyway, I got half way across a 4 lane street and here comes a school bus. Honestly, I shit you not, I felt the breeze on my face….it wasn’t even a breeze…I'm surprised the rearview mirror didn’t take my nose off. I saw the letters of the school on the side of the bus but couldn’t read it because I was too close. After it passed….I froze. Just stood there. A girl I work with came up behind me and asked if I was ok. She said “I just saw that, you almost got hit by a bus!” ummmmm…….uh huh…… She was very sweet, helped me to the curb. Then I had to drive home. Yippee!

At least let me get hit by a beer truck, much better story.

We all know it will happen. But is there that ability to choose when it will happen? I read a book by a physic and she said that we actually have the option of taking the out with out even knowing it. The close to deaths are actually our choice….we choose to live or die. Do I believe it? 70/30% on that one. 70 is yes.

When…why…how….is the hidden question.

Did God create us? Who ever we perceive him to be? I believe yes. Now in 7 days he created the earth…that’s a stretch. I can’t even clean my house in 7 days. Maybe he’s a go getter.

We are all just a bump in time. Use your bump wisely.

Something I learned from my grandma…

Learn to look at the sky when it sunny
Never run through the rain because it’s God crying
Listen to the birds sing
Look at the flowers
Remember the smell of fresh sheets taken off the clothes line because there is no other smell like that in the whole world.
Love your friends and family
You got one shot….or maybe not
Who knows?
But this “one” will all be gone someday

I remember staying at her house and waking up at 5am in the morning.
She was already up.
I would get out of bed and walk to the kitchen.
“What are you doing up?” she would say
“cause your up” I’d answer
She would make me buttered toast.
We would sit there and talk while I ate my toast and she drank her coffee.
It was still dark outside.

The best memory of my life.

It will all be gone someday. She knew what she was talking about.

The smartest woman I ever met. She didn’t know one thing though…as long as I’m alive, it’s not gone. She’s not gone.

Buttered toast….black coffee….all is good.