No More BOOKS!!!!
I have had two books given to me in the last 2 months.
The first was “Dogs of Babel”. Weird book. Involved a mentally disturbed wife that committed suicide and dog mutilation. Second, which I am currently reading is “Running with scissors. Involves people that are mentally disturbed.
Here’s my problem. And it is MY problem. The people that lent me these books know about DD and that I have dogs...and certain other animals living in my house which remain nameless....ok...mice.
The first book when he started describing his wife…I got through the second sentence and knew she had issues.
The second book, which is a true story, is ALL about mental illness.
Both disturb me. They make me sick to my stomach. I don’t know what kind of mental illness my ex has but I know for FUCKING sure there is something wrong with him. I even went as far to tell him he needed to see a doctor. Yeah…that was a great night. I know everyone has their issues and problems. This guy was out of control. I have never seen such rage and hatred to everyone and everything.
The reason this blog came up is the book I’m currently reading the mother has mental breakdowns. The whole book is disturbing but two quotes really hit me.
The son is sitting across from her and the quote is “Not only did my mother look stark raving mad, but looked smug in her madness. Like she was pleased to take this mental vacation.”
The second…. “Her eyes looked like someone had lit a match behind them.”
I have seen both of these in him, many times, in all the years we were together. I never heard anyone describe them with more accuracy. I couldn’t have.
It’s a great thing to pass along a book but I think one should consider who they are giving the book to next time. Not going to do the “Hey so-and-so here’s a book I just read its great!” No. It’s not that simple for some people. I can’t believe that the girl that gave me “Dogs of Babel” owns a dog that she adores. The thought of what was in that book happening to my dogs still haunts me. That book got passed around the office and a new guy started. He has a dog. He was the next, after me to get the book. I went into his cube and said “I know you have a dog. You know that I have two. This book is very disturbing if you are a dog owner. Do you still want to read it?” He actually said “Thanks for the warning, I’ll read it but if it gets to bad I won’t finish it”.
Now as for the mental illness book. I don’t think that M knew it would affect me. I didn’t even think it would, but it does. I’ve felt disturbed for the last couple of days and the realization came to me tonight. M, I’m not blaming you. It’s just me.
The two quotes I mentioned earlier were some of the scarcest episodes I’ve lived through with him. They happened often in the end. He was just so insane it seemed to me and I do not use the word "insane" loosely.
There was also another part in the book where one of his friends was married to a much older man that was mentally unstable and use to beat her. After all was said and done she use to talk and say how much she missed him. The male charter in the book said that she missed the abuse….the drama. I completely understand that. My life went from pure chaos to nothing….silence. I’m not sure miss is the right word but it’s the only one I feel sometimes. By no means do I want it back but it’s just “strange” now. Different is all, I guess.
Life is about change. Don’t like it much but I’m moving forward. I’m all about the comfort of my life. I am the type of person that likes to drive the same way to work and back, go to the same grocery store, same everything. I like my patterns. I guess this is a new beginning. It’s all about change right?
I don’t think I should join the book of the month club anytime soon. Ummm….I just wrote a bad blog about people being nice and passing books along.
Just a tad upset….sorry.
Reminds me of DD and the stop sign story. Don't know why. Guess I just need a laugh. I will publish that tonight.
The first was “Dogs of Babel”. Weird book. Involved a mentally disturbed wife that committed suicide and dog mutilation. Second, which I am currently reading is “Running with scissors. Involves people that are mentally disturbed.
Here’s my problem. And it is MY problem. The people that lent me these books know about DD and that I have dogs...and certain other animals living in my house which remain nameless....ok...mice.
The first book when he started describing his wife…I got through the second sentence and knew she had issues.
The second book, which is a true story, is ALL about mental illness.
Both disturb me. They make me sick to my stomach. I don’t know what kind of mental illness my ex has but I know for FUCKING sure there is something wrong with him. I even went as far to tell him he needed to see a doctor. Yeah…that was a great night. I know everyone has their issues and problems. This guy was out of control. I have never seen such rage and hatred to everyone and everything.
The reason this blog came up is the book I’m currently reading the mother has mental breakdowns. The whole book is disturbing but two quotes really hit me.
The son is sitting across from her and the quote is “Not only did my mother look stark raving mad, but looked smug in her madness. Like she was pleased to take this mental vacation.”
The second…. “Her eyes looked like someone had lit a match behind them.”
I have seen both of these in him, many times, in all the years we were together. I never heard anyone describe them with more accuracy. I couldn’t have.
It’s a great thing to pass along a book but I think one should consider who they are giving the book to next time. Not going to do the “Hey so-and-so here’s a book I just read its great!” No. It’s not that simple for some people. I can’t believe that the girl that gave me “Dogs of Babel” owns a dog that she adores. The thought of what was in that book happening to my dogs still haunts me. That book got passed around the office and a new guy started. He has a dog. He was the next, after me to get the book. I went into his cube and said “I know you have a dog. You know that I have two. This book is very disturbing if you are a dog owner. Do you still want to read it?” He actually said “Thanks for the warning, I’ll read it but if it gets to bad I won’t finish it”.
Now as for the mental illness book. I don’t think that M knew it would affect me. I didn’t even think it would, but it does. I’ve felt disturbed for the last couple of days and the realization came to me tonight. M, I’m not blaming you. It’s just me.
The two quotes I mentioned earlier were some of the scarcest episodes I’ve lived through with him. They happened often in the end. He was just so insane it seemed to me and I do not use the word "insane" loosely.
There was also another part in the book where one of his friends was married to a much older man that was mentally unstable and use to beat her. After all was said and done she use to talk and say how much she missed him. The male charter in the book said that she missed the abuse….the drama. I completely understand that. My life went from pure chaos to nothing….silence. I’m not sure miss is the right word but it’s the only one I feel sometimes. By no means do I want it back but it’s just “strange” now. Different is all, I guess.
Life is about change. Don’t like it much but I’m moving forward. I’m all about the comfort of my life. I am the type of person that likes to drive the same way to work and back, go to the same grocery store, same everything. I like my patterns. I guess this is a new beginning. It’s all about change right?
I don’t think I should join the book of the month club anytime soon. Ummm….I just wrote a bad blog about people being nice and passing books along.
Just a tad upset….sorry.
Reminds me of DD and the stop sign story. Don't know why. Guess I just need a laugh. I will publish that tonight.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 10:27 PM
2 Comments:
i'm really sorry about the running with scissors book. i knew it was disturbing, but i didn't think it would make you upset. i would never do that to you. i think i have a book for you. it's the mork and mindy love story. see, no animal cruelty, no abuse, just alien lovin'. :)
when my last relationship ended, it kind of felt like being unplugged from 4000 volts and going back down to 40. all i'd ever needed to survive was 40, but the drama (which i'd gotten used to) had taken things up to 4000 for so long that i couldn't remember anything different. so maybe i sort of understand about missing the drama. it's not "missing"...it's just withdrawal from a bad drug. in my opinion, anyway.
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