To Eat or Not To Eat…That is the question

I know that in some form I have an eating disorder. Now what that means remains to be questioned. I’ve been irritable these last few days. I think that it’s because I’ve been buying sugar free chocolates. I know that I can’t eat any form of sugar…. much less Sugar free chocolates.

Cakes…candies and pies…oh my.

I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.

But I found these amazing chocolates and gummies that were just like the real thing but they were sugar free. Unfortunately, they taste the same. I think I can have just as many of them as I use to or more. It’s the addiction. I can not, no matter sugar free or not, I can not have them. That hurts…and it sucks.

My life is in moderation…for food anyway…and it’s all sugar…no ding dongs, which are my favorite. No Banana Twinkies, no snow balls or Hostess cup cakes….and the orange ones are so good!!! I haven’t had a birthday cake in 6 years. Well I have, but other people ate it.

I was really fat at one point and I don’t want to be that way again.

I …I…I……what do I want to say?

Simpely...I guess… I…can’t do it.

Problem sloved..AGAIN.

This is the last time….no more….

Not even sugar free….wow…that hurt.

Now I have to quit smoking. Shit.

No sugar...no sugar free...and no smoking...wtf?