It’s starting again..or shall I say…

He’s started calling again. The phone just rang, it was him and he left a message. I just don’t think I can listen to it.

I’m tired…and his words have gotten old.

It still continues to amaze me that after all the things he did and called me he still wants to talk to me. Why? If he hates me as much as he’s told me then why the hell does he call me?

I tried to remain friends with him. It didn’t work. He continued to rip me to shreds every time I saw him.

I know it makes him feel better about himself to rip me apart, I understand this I just can’t do it anymore.

I do think about him from time to time. Hope that he’s ok. My heart actually aches for him at points…but it’s not a good ache.

He just called again. Changing my phone number is looking like a good option at this point. I just didn’t’ want to have to do that because yet again I am sacrificing something of mine, for him. Why should I have to change MY phone number?

Time has made it better….but it doesn’t heal all wounds. This was the person that I intended to spend the rest of my life with, have kids…be a family.

Nope. It wasn’t meant to happen. I don’t think it ever was. I just loved him. Thought he was funny, talented and beautiful in so many more ways than one.

I’m not sure he ever loved me which is hard to admit.

But it is what it is.