I’ve lost the desire for food and I wish my Neighbor would turn down his fucking TV at night….oh yeah and the thought of death
And other random shit….
Yeah I was up last night….I guess his fucking TV woke me up about 3am. I guess he was watching or fell asleep to something on the History channel or something. It sounded like native drums for 3 hours….geese….at least let it be MTV or Fuse…anything but what I was hearing.
I should have just gotten up, but I don’t usually do that at night…I lay in bed and try to make myself sleep but I think when I do that I ponder things way to much and work myself up into a panic. Not a good thing for someone that’s teetering on the edge sometimes. Death usually comes to mind when I do that. Not me offing myself or anything but just the thought of it and the unknown. It scares the fuck out of me. I hate when I ask people if they are afraid of death and they say “no, why?” I just want to say “oh shut up, yes you are.”
Food….ahhh….food, how I miss enjoying it. I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned this here before but I use to be a cow a big 189 lbs. cow…I’m only 5’5 so, yeah, I was a fat pig. Sugar was my thing…oh and burgers. The amount of garbage that I use to consume in one day I can’t even imagine eating now in one month. I stopped eating sugar about 5 years ago. I’m pretty sure I would have been in a sugar coma now if I wouldn’t have. I have started buying it again though because sometimes it’s the only thing that tastes good. Me and Minn have figured out why, just not really ready to talk about it here…not yet.
My job...today wasn’t bad, it was pretty busy...made the day go fast. I’m just tiring of a job that I wish my days away looking forward to the weekends….when it is the weekend I end up sitting here in front of the computer basically doing nothing. I’ve got to start shooting for what I really want to do before it’s too late. I just haven’t had the drive in me these days. Hell, maybe I never have who fucking knows…but if I never have then I have to find it…but soon.
And if I see one more stupid commercial I’m going to scream. Where do the advertising agencies come up with this crap? I think the most incredible commercial is the one with the Cavemen being offended by a commercial. “I’ll have the salmon with the mango salsa”. What a great commercial. I laugh every time I see it. Can you tell I’m in advertising? Heh.
Sex…damn I miss it…no wonder I don’t want to eat….
And fuck…Blogger is really fucking pissing me off right now…publish my fucking post!!
Bitch…bitch…moan. Sorry, just felt like it tonight.
Yeah I was up last night….I guess his fucking TV woke me up about 3am. I guess he was watching or fell asleep to something on the History channel or something. It sounded like native drums for 3 hours….geese….at least let it be MTV or Fuse…anything but what I was hearing.
I should have just gotten up, but I don’t usually do that at night…I lay in bed and try to make myself sleep but I think when I do that I ponder things way to much and work myself up into a panic. Not a good thing for someone that’s teetering on the edge sometimes. Death usually comes to mind when I do that. Not me offing myself or anything but just the thought of it and the unknown. It scares the fuck out of me. I hate when I ask people if they are afraid of death and they say “no, why?” I just want to say “oh shut up, yes you are.”
Food….ahhh….food, how I miss enjoying it. I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned this here before but I use to be a cow a big 189 lbs. cow…I’m only 5’5 so, yeah, I was a fat pig. Sugar was my thing…oh and burgers. The amount of garbage that I use to consume in one day I can’t even imagine eating now in one month. I stopped eating sugar about 5 years ago. I’m pretty sure I would have been in a sugar coma now if I wouldn’t have. I have started buying it again though because sometimes it’s the only thing that tastes good. Me and Minn have figured out why, just not really ready to talk about it here…not yet.
My job...today wasn’t bad, it was pretty busy...made the day go fast. I’m just tiring of a job that I wish my days away looking forward to the weekends….when it is the weekend I end up sitting here in front of the computer basically doing nothing. I’ve got to start shooting for what I really want to do before it’s too late. I just haven’t had the drive in me these days. Hell, maybe I never have who fucking knows…but if I never have then I have to find it…but soon.
And if I see one more stupid commercial I’m going to scream. Where do the advertising agencies come up with this crap? I think the most incredible commercial is the one with the Cavemen being offended by a commercial. “I’ll have the salmon with the mango salsa”. What a great commercial. I laugh every time I see it. Can you tell I’m in advertising? Heh.
Sex…damn I miss it…no wonder I don’t want to eat….
And fuck…Blogger is really fucking pissing me off right now…publish my fucking post!!
Bitch…bitch…moan. Sorry, just felt like it tonight.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 9:17 PM
2 Comments:
i believe it's duck with mango sauce. those cavemen freak me out. you weren't ever fat. stop it before i come down there and smack ya.
love you!!! :) tell chris to keep it down! or else, i'll smack him too!
i love that commercial. the second caveman, the one who hands back the menu, all pissed off... "I don't have much of an appetite." ...cracks me up every time.
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