I had a dream this morning….

I know that people don’t like to hear other people’s dreams because they usually don’t make sense to the person that has them which in turn really bores people that are listening to them. Remember this the next time you want to tell someone a dream…no offense.

No I can’t say that this dream I had wasn’t a slight bit drug induced…just one itty bitty Valium at 4am this morning because I couldn’t sleep….anyhoo…

I dreamt...

I was in a huge mansion….everything I could ever want….my own room, no rent, no bills…a beautiful garden that when you walked to the end, this amazing trail opened up to the ocean. I thought “I need my digital camera.”

I went back to the house to get it and was told that my stipulations for staying there were:
No dogs
No computer
No camera
No TV
No movies
No artwork

But everything else was paid for free and clear.

After that….in between unconscious and consciousness I actually thought I was still there.

When I opened my bleary eyes and saw my water stained ceiling…my little fern still trying to fight its way through the window…and my dogs staring at me for food I realized something….I won’t conform.

I’ve had a few problems these last few months….but I’ve had them my whole life. I have never been rich nor do I think I ever will….but I know one thing…I will always be different….and I don’t want to change that…not for all the money in the world.

The one thing I don’t want to loose is my independence. The thought of living under someone else’s rules again makes me fucking sick to my stomach…and it’s pretty much been that way since I can remember.

There has always been someone standing over my shoulder telling me what I’ve done wrong, did wrong, or am doing wrong….hell I’ve had people tell me what I’m GOING to do wrong.

Maybe that made it worse for me….who knows…

I did realize this morning when I really woke up…I was so happy it was a dream…

I like my little quirky house with doors that don’t want to close right…light bulbs that burn out if you look at them wrong….a backyard with a pond filled in with dirt and weeds as high as me…but they have flowers on them and look pretty....

Hey but that’s just me….