Ok….enough boo hooing….

Yuck…I’m disgusted with myself. Ok so sometimes I have issues….well a lot of time I do. Like I’ve said I’m the darker side of life kind of girl but you know what, a lot of my friends are going through hard times as well and I can only hope that I have been there for them like they are for me right now.

I was talking to M today about my family and what’s going on with me. I understand my family stance on how they think I’ve fucked up over the years and I’ve admitted it.

She said something to me that I’ve known all along, it’s just that no one has actually said it out loud…”Family doesn’t have to be blood”…and she is absolutely right.

I’d do anything for my friends….and I believe they would do the same for me. At this point we are all falling on rough times but at least we have each other….and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I lose site of how lucky I am at times and I hate it when I do that. I have a place to live, my dogs, a car, money to eat, a job….and friends that I wouldn’t give up for the world.

I just get into a funk sometimes and it’s hard to crawl out.

So I apologize for being the biggest dark cloud around for the past couple of weeks.

I live in a city where there is a homeless person every 5 feet and I’m bitching why? There is no reason for me to and I have to stop and realize that I am lucky.

I can work with what the doc told me I have…I just didn’t expect it. So my last couple of days have been shock….and I’ve felt pretty alone…what I didn’t seem to see…is that I’m not.

And I think I’m pretty fucking lucky for that.