I knew it would happen eventually…

my integrity would be questioned.

To: India
From: L
RE: Drs Note

I was just talking to C (HR dept) about your progress. Let’s sit down next week and you can update me on how you feel and what the Dr. says. We also need a Dr’s note on you regarding your need to have therapy. Also—maybe you could look into having your therapy first thing in the morning instead of in the afternoon—what is the first appt? Let’s discuss.

Let’s discuss…what?

Wow I would think that they would have asked for a doctors note when I walked back into work a month and a half ago….I did offer…declined…”No need India.”

I cleared the time of my PT with L and now it’s a problem. Interesting.

I was and still am speechless over that email.

I will never regain the full use of my right hand.
Doctors have told me this.
Surgeons have told me this.
My physical therapists have been kinder…I have to adapt.

I will never be the same…and you’re asking for a fucking doctor’s note because you don’t believe me?

Honey, how many dr.s notes do you want because I have a fucking novel of um at this point.

Now my personal health has become an issue? I’m requested by my boss to discuss “how I feel?”

Dig your own grave with just your left hand and then you’ll see how I feel L.

I’m not crippled…I can walk and talk and look normal just like everyone out there in the real world.

Can I open a bottled soda without a pair of pliers? It takes some effort. Can I hold a glass in my right hand with out it sliding from my grasp and shattering to the floor…sometimes. Can I write the way I want to…nope. Can I draw the way I want to…nope.

Can you cut a girl some slack…nope.

People walk around everyday not conscience of any part of there body most of the time. My right hand is always there to remind me that I am human and I can lose something without even knowing it.

I have few things in this world. The things I have, I treasure…my integrity is one of them and I don't remember losing that.

Could I have sued my company and claimed that it was work related? Absolutely. Would I do that? Absolutely not. Oh the things I could have done…even my doctors questioned me on this issue. I would be sitting pretty if I would have done that. I couldn’t though…because I have no idea why it happened.

I do appreciate the ride though...I’ve been in a place that most people don’t see. People don’t like the weak, the wounded. They have now idea what they go through and they don’t know what the people that chose to help them are like. I do know and I see the world in a different light now.

“and so shines a good deed in a weary world”

Wily Wonka is on TV and the memory of Ripley peeing on Sacha’s head last night is such a vivid memory that’s it’s still making me laugh.

That’s a whole other story.