I love it when I’m prepared….

Beautiful part of my day was I got to totally bitch slap the pharmacist that was so ugly to me the other day. I walked up to get my Valium prescription today and she knew who I was, she went and got this piece of paper with my prescription taped to it and fax stamps all over it and said “Sorry honey your doctor never called back so I can’t fill your prescription.” I knew that was coming and I whipped open a folded new crisp prescription like a detective flipping out his badge to a stunned suspect and said “Yea, I told my doctor about our last encounter and he figured there would be a problem so he wrote me a new one.” Oh how I love to stun the seemingly unstunable. She snatched it out of my hands, looked at it and then looked at me. She looked in my basket once again and all she saw was two cans of dog food, then looked at me again and said “You know you can’t drink on these medications right?” I said “Once again, this is for an MRI TODAY.” “Ok, honey, just so you know.” “Yes” I said “I know.”

For the first time in a long time I wanted to reach over the counter and grab that pretty white polyester jacket around the collar pull her right in front of my face and say “Listen bitch, if you call me honey one more time I will drag you out to the back of this store and shove all these pills down your throat and make you drink a full bottle of Jack…so shut the fuck up and give me my fucking pills…now.”

But as usual…I paid and walked away with a “Thank you.”