Fuck it

I think too much…

I always talk about people not seeing themselves because they don’t look inside. I guess some people don’t and some people look too much. That would be me.

As I’ve said before “why” is a dangerous word when over used. If a person continues to ponder that word it makes them forget who they are.

For me that word is a reason not to see my life. “Why this why that, why do people treat me this way, why did he do that to me why am I the way I am?

I’m just fucking who I am. I will never be less or more than the next person. I’m not perfect and no one is but I seem to ask for advice to reach that goal. The only thing that does is make me less of who I want to be.

I’ve been dodging the black hole for some time now and I realized last night that black hole is me.

I am my own demise. I can live or die…it’s my choice, no one else’s.

I’ve spent my whole life worried about what people think about me and trying to please other people. I just can’t do it anymore.

I am fucked up, stupid, bitch, whore, fat, ugly, crazy, white ginnie, useless, weak, strange, appalling, rude, and worthless.

I could go on for days with the names that people have tagged on me.

The thing that sets me apart is I take it to heart.

I hung on to those words because if enough people say it then it must be true.

I’ve found that people don’t use words wisely. Words are a powerful tool. I favor expression not abuse. I’d rather be hit in the head with a baseball bat then be called any name because words never die.

I’m different and I fucking hate it but I guess I have to get use to it.

Life is too short to worry about what the fuck people think.