Vanelli

Oh how I love these shoes. Found them at the thrift store today….never worn. $8.

My mother taught me from an early age the passion for shoes.

I called her tonight to tell her about my find.

Shit…bad move India.

She laid into me like there was no tomorrow. I don’t manage my money right and I’m living on the edge and why I do the things I do.

“It’s fucking $8 and they are Vanelli’s mom.”

“I don’t give a shit India your being stupid.”

Stupid…that’s an ugly word isn’t it? Unfortunately, I’ve heard it to many times in my life. Maybe I really am fucking stupid, if my mom tells me I am then maybe it’s true.

After that she raked me across the coals…fuck she didn’t rake me across them she buried me in them. Everything I have done wrong in my life came out of her mouth in 1 minute. I guess she was in a bad mood.

A girl I knew that was in an abusive relationship once told me “I found out through therapy that people in an abusive relationship are searching for home. They are drawn to what they know and what they feel is safe. How you are raised is home.” I think this is true.

Home I found in Vance but I also found knowledge. My Mom doesn’t think that I learned anything after him but I did.

I learned that it takes to much energy to fight especially when the other person doesn’t care what you have to say.

I love my mom, don’t get me wrong but she can level me in a second and I fucking hate that.

And I won’t shut up and I’m not stupid.

The shoes however, are fabulous.