Honestly…what more can a girl ask for…

In one appointment I got pills to stop smoking while not being depressed and a little Xanax just to take the edge off. He didn’t prescribe the smokes, champagne and pizza…that was my idea.

I do love my doctor even though his bedside manner was a little off today. As I was talking about my anxiety (Xanax thank you) and we were discussing why and how I got to this point…somewhere the doctor left the room and the male mind took over.

“Well India, I can see why you feel this way…at your age and single.” I looked at him, tilted my head to the side and said “What?” He said “Believe me there is still time. I’m 52 and my wife is 43 and I married her and she had a two year old.” Me…”What?”

"Yo…doc…I was talking about not having as much money as I want in my 401K and thinking I might be working at McDonald’s when I’m 65 and being a little crazy with my current situation (as I held up my right hand) I didn’t say anything close to what you are talking about.”

He kept going…

“There were times after my first divorce that I felt like you do. It gets better. Believe me you are young and attractive.”

I said “You know you are digging your own grave at this point don’t you?”

He stopped talking and looked at me and said “This is why I never became a therapist.”

“Smart choice Dr. D.” He started again…”But I do understand how women like you feel.”

“Dr. D. I hear the dirt hitting your coffin now.”

“I’m sorry India” He said.

“As well you should be Dr. D…now put a sock in it and write me some prescriptions.” We both laughed.

He is a fucking great doctor and a wonderful person. For the fist time in all the years I’ve been going to him I actually got to give him shit. It was a beautiful thing.

The funny thing is…he really is a therapist. He sees a human not a patient. He talked to me for another 30 minutes about what has gone on and why I’m so anxiety ridden...if I’ve ever thought about suicide. What person hasn’t…whether you are 16 or 60. I was truthful…of course I have…now having the balls to go though with it is quite another story. He said he has been there as well…after his divorce but he said he always knew he could never go though with it. I guess doctors need to get shit off their chest sometimes too which is why I love Dr. D. Even though he’s a doctor he never fails to open up and give his personal perspective though his experiences…whether it be good or bad.

He also sent me away with one of the best complements I’ve ever gotten…

He said “You are one of the most well adjusted depressed people I’ve ever met.”

Hey…I never said I was a supermodel…that to me is a compliment.