The truth hurts…

I know I’ve done a lot of shit in my life that’s wrong.

Seems I wrote a post that hurt someone that I love. Something this person will never forgive me for…and it kills me.

What I write here is the truth with a few white lies to make it humorous but all in all it’s how I feel.

I am different. I don’t want to change this fact about me but it makes it hard for people to understand me.

I know I’ve fucked up and depended on people when they were tired…of me.

The Decade of Darkness was a long road…and I chose it…but it’s over.

But I found out tonight that I am not one of the trusted…I am…in fact the loser of the family…but they have failed to realize that I’ve known this all along.

It hit me in one minute of a one hour phone call that it’s not going to happen.

I’m not moving back.

I wanted to move back to be near my family…fun…see them every week…when they needed something I would be there…go and have lunch with my sister…hang out with my mom…hang out with my brother and his kids.

I find it’s not so simple now.

They don’t want me there.

It’s sad to try and move back to the people that you love…

And there are no open arms…

And I can only blame myself.