Young at heart…
I think this saying is true.
Doesn’t really matter how old you are it’s what you want to hang on to that makes you old.
DD came over today. The only reason I let him in was I knew I had to leave in 20 mins. So it would be a short visit.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but DD is 8 years younger than me. Today he looked 10 years older than me. He also looked really sad.
I don’t like seeing that in his face but I can’t contemplate the reasons for it anymore and I just don’t care. I have all the time in the world for everything else but not for him. I realized that I had just wasted another 20 minutes of my life on him...I have lost compassion for him. I never thought that would happen.
Even the dogs have. They were excited to see him for a few seconds. Once I started traveling though the house they started following me.
When I walked back in the kitchen he was sitting there staring into his beer. The dogs didn’t even follow me. They went into the bedroom.
He didn’t crack one bad joke…didn’t insult me…wasn’t pissed…he was just miserable…and I just didn’t care.
For so many years I tried to lift the anger from his life…lift the weight off his shoulders that I thought was crippling him. It was a waste of my time and his. No one can ever tell someone else how to let things go…we all have our issues that no one can fix but ourselves.
It did disturb me when I drove off…watching him walk down the street.
I wish I could help him but he’s mad at life and no one can fix that…I don’t even think he can...honestly I’m tired of being around someone one that feels that way.
Everything we have everyday is so perfect even the shitty parts. Shitty happens perfect just like perfect happens perfect.
Doesn’t really matter how old you are it’s what you want to hang on to that makes you old.
DD came over today. The only reason I let him in was I knew I had to leave in 20 mins. So it would be a short visit.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but DD is 8 years younger than me. Today he looked 10 years older than me. He also looked really sad.
I don’t like seeing that in his face but I can’t contemplate the reasons for it anymore and I just don’t care. I have all the time in the world for everything else but not for him. I realized that I had just wasted another 20 minutes of my life on him...I have lost compassion for him. I never thought that would happen.
Even the dogs have. They were excited to see him for a few seconds. Once I started traveling though the house they started following me.
When I walked back in the kitchen he was sitting there staring into his beer. The dogs didn’t even follow me. They went into the bedroom.
He didn’t crack one bad joke…didn’t insult me…wasn’t pissed…he was just miserable…and I just didn’t care.
For so many years I tried to lift the anger from his life…lift the weight off his shoulders that I thought was crippling him. It was a waste of my time and his. No one can ever tell someone else how to let things go…we all have our issues that no one can fix but ourselves.
It did disturb me when I drove off…watching him walk down the street.
I wish I could help him but he’s mad at life and no one can fix that…I don’t even think he can...honestly I’m tired of being around someone one that feels that way.
Everything we have everyday is so perfect even the shitty parts. Shitty happens perfect just like perfect happens perfect.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 12:57 AM
2 Comments:
When you say:
Everything we have everyday is so perfect even the shitty parts. Shitty happens perfect just like perfect happens perfect.
It reminds me of a quote by Thaddeus Golas:
When you learn to love hell, you will be in heaven.
It sounds like you've got a slice of heaven. I say go for the whole pie. :)
oh, india.. stop letting him in...
just let him be with his misery and beer. that's all he deserves!!
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