This is how my morning is….
It really is beautiful this morning. Overcast….dark….my kind of morning. I love it.
I started this blog in the morn. Now I rarely write in the morning….well I guess the wee hours of the night count as morning. Anyhoo
I’ve come to a realization about myself. I’m not quite sure how to change it…even if I wish to.
I don’t know if I’m not well spoken, or I say the wrong things at the wrong time or maybe I’m just misunderstood. Maybe Mindy can help me out on this one.
I am not an outspoken person. Through the years I have semi become one. I will speak when I’m around people I know, when I’m pissed or when I’m drunk. Hehe…. If I’m comfortable with someone you will know my whole life story in 15 mins. Well, I guess that is coming on a little strong. I guess what I want to know about myself is why I offend people when I don’t think I’m being offensive.
I wrote a blog about my Mother and then deleted it because I thought if my sister read it she would be mad. But last night, I finally realized what my Mother does to me that really pisses me off. And now I’m wondering if it’s me that is making her do this.
I am talking about what I blogged about last night. I just couldn’t understand why anyone would do that to children. She got mad at me for this. She said “People are just MEAN! Why can’t you understand this?” By the way she was yelling.
I think I just got it…..
In MY world….everything should be packaged in pretty wrapping paper with a big pink bow and all should be good.
In my world
No one dies
Animals aren’t left on the street
Animals don’t die
There is no war
There is no poverty
No children are starving
No children are beaten
No children die
Like a fairy tale
You plant a seed
It grows
Out of control
So beautiful
All is quiet
No police helicopters
No sirens
No law
Cause there is no need
No innocence is lost
Only lived
Unfortunately
This land lives only in me.
This is why I don’t understand
I really do understand now. I don’t live in this world. I do understand the problems and the situations of life but I know it shouldn’t be this way. I guess I do live in my own fantasy land. I don’t watch the news, vote, read the paper….what’s the point. Let’s read about who fucked over who today. Nah….
This also crosses over to my job. I don’t think it’s fair. For anyone. People are treated differently. Some people do a shitty job and move up the corporate latter just fine. Other people work their asses off and are NEVER appreciated. It’s not fair.
I know life isn’t fair….but it should be. I think this is where I differ from other people. This is why I think I piss people off. I will never change this frame of thought. Things should be different.
People should NOT have a ZILLION dollars when people are starving on the street.
UNFAIR!
There should NOT be politicians that choose for us when we don’t even know them
People should not be murdered by another person’s hand.
We should not kill someone for killing someone else
Every fucking spec of this life is so crazy. I have turned my corner and I realize that I am now the same person that I was a long fucking time ago. Every morning is new. I am one of those people that carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and the world didn’t ask me to. I think and ponder “why?” There is no answer and I know that. But a friend said that “sometimes why is a good thing". I don’t understand the world and I never will. I can only hope that I will step into someone’s life and make a difference, if only for a second.
Ok….he had perfect timing for once. My ex just called. I asked him if I was annoying or insulting. He said “what do you mean?” I told him about what my mother said last night and why he thought she got angry. He said something that I already knew…”Why ask why India? You always did that. People are just shitty. I don’t think you will ever realize that.”
I think that’s what makes people so pissed off when they talk to me. I will fight to the bitter end that no one is shitty and the world isn't shitty…it’s what we make it.
Did you know that I’m living in a condo with Tinkerbelle? In LaLa land?
I will leave you with one poem…from and unknown….well I’m sure it’s know but I bought it at a thrift store….it’s cheesy but true…
Time is…..
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love….
Time is Eternity
You know…it really is beautiful, all of it….people just need to see it.
I started this blog in the morn. Now I rarely write in the morning….well I guess the wee hours of the night count as morning. Anyhoo
I’ve come to a realization about myself. I’m not quite sure how to change it…even if I wish to.
I don’t know if I’m not well spoken, or I say the wrong things at the wrong time or maybe I’m just misunderstood. Maybe Mindy can help me out on this one.
I am not an outspoken person. Through the years I have semi become one. I will speak when I’m around people I know, when I’m pissed or when I’m drunk. Hehe…. If I’m comfortable with someone you will know my whole life story in 15 mins. Well, I guess that is coming on a little strong. I guess what I want to know about myself is why I offend people when I don’t think I’m being offensive.
I wrote a blog about my Mother and then deleted it because I thought if my sister read it she would be mad. But last night, I finally realized what my Mother does to me that really pisses me off. And now I’m wondering if it’s me that is making her do this.
I am talking about what I blogged about last night. I just couldn’t understand why anyone would do that to children. She got mad at me for this. She said “People are just MEAN! Why can’t you understand this?” By the way she was yelling.
I think I just got it…..
In MY world….everything should be packaged in pretty wrapping paper with a big pink bow and all should be good.
In my world
No one dies
Animals aren’t left on the street
Animals don’t die
There is no war
There is no poverty
No children are starving
No children are beaten
No children die
Like a fairy tale
You plant a seed
It grows
Out of control
So beautiful
All is quiet
No police helicopters
No sirens
No law
Cause there is no need
No innocence is lost
Only lived
Unfortunately
This land lives only in me.
This is why I don’t understand
I really do understand now. I don’t live in this world. I do understand the problems and the situations of life but I know it shouldn’t be this way. I guess I do live in my own fantasy land. I don’t watch the news, vote, read the paper….what’s the point. Let’s read about who fucked over who today. Nah….
This also crosses over to my job. I don’t think it’s fair. For anyone. People are treated differently. Some people do a shitty job and move up the corporate latter just fine. Other people work their asses off and are NEVER appreciated. It’s not fair.
I know life isn’t fair….but it should be. I think this is where I differ from other people. This is why I think I piss people off. I will never change this frame of thought. Things should be different.
People should NOT have a ZILLION dollars when people are starving on the street.
UNFAIR!
There should NOT be politicians that choose for us when we don’t even know them
People should not be murdered by another person’s hand.
We should not kill someone for killing someone else
Every fucking spec of this life is so crazy. I have turned my corner and I realize that I am now the same person that I was a long fucking time ago. Every morning is new. I am one of those people that carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and the world didn’t ask me to. I think and ponder “why?” There is no answer and I know that. But a friend said that “sometimes why is a good thing". I don’t understand the world and I never will. I can only hope that I will step into someone’s life and make a difference, if only for a second.
Ok….he had perfect timing for once. My ex just called. I asked him if I was annoying or insulting. He said “what do you mean?” I told him about what my mother said last night and why he thought she got angry. He said something that I already knew…”Why ask why India? You always did that. People are just shitty. I don’t think you will ever realize that.”
I think that’s what makes people so pissed off when they talk to me. I will fight to the bitter end that no one is shitty and the world isn't shitty…it’s what we make it.
Did you know that I’m living in a condo with Tinkerbelle? In LaLa land?
I will leave you with one poem…from and unknown….well I’m sure it’s know but I bought it at a thrift store….it’s cheesy but true…
Time is…..
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love….
Time is Eternity
You know…it really is beautiful, all of it….people just need to see it.
posted by iamfallingfromgrace at 11:30 AM
1 Comments:
i love both poems! you know that there is bad in the world.. but the good that is also there is overpowering. does that make sense? a few bad people does not make the world a bad place. we are just eternal optimists.. by the way, i can't get a hold of you and if you are with him.. i have lost hope.
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